Economics Archives | Lubbock Sucks

Lubbock City Council Realizes Math Is Hard, Delays Civic Center Vote Until 2027

lubbock-sucks — Tue, 21 Jul 2026 18:55:50 +0000

In a shocking turn of events that surprised absolutely nobody, our visionary leaders on the Lubbock City Council have decided to punt the proposed Civic Center expansion vote from this November to at least 2027. Why the sudden cold feet? Because, as Mayor Mark McBrayer so candidly admitted, the city still has “so much work [...]

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Welcome to Galaxy Stadium: Texas Tech Pawns Football Tradition to a Water-Guzzling Crypto Mine

lubbock-sucks — Sat, 18 Jul 2026 18:52:12 +0000

It’s the end of an era, folks. RIP Jones AT&T Stadium. Welcome to “Galaxy Stadium,” a moniker that sounds less like a Big 12 football Mecca and more like an abandoned laser tag arena out on the Loop. Texas Tech Athletics just sold off the naming rights of our beloved gridiron for $75 million to [...]

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State Leaders Demand 3% Budget Cut Because Apparently a $24 Billion Surplus Just Isn’t Enough

lubbock-sucks — Thu, 16 Jul 2026 17:06:43 +0000

Our very own local golden boy, House Speaker Dustin Burrows, has teamed up with Governor Greg Abbott and Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick to demand a mandatory 3% budget haircut for state agencies, appellate courts, and public universities. Why? Because according to Abbott, nothing says “putting families first” quite like making sure state services operate under [...]

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Canada To Texas Livestock: “Yeah, That’s A Hard No, Eh?” Thanks To Our New Flesh-Eating Parasite Friends

lubbock-sucks — Thu, 16 Jul 2026 16:53:46 +0000

Great news, Texas! We’ve officially become the sketchy neighbor that nobody wants to invite over. Canada has immediately banned virtually all animal exports from the Lone Star State, including cattle, horses, pigs, and even bison. If an animal has so much as stepped foot in Texas over the last 21 days, the Mounties are turning [...]

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Math is Hard: Lubbock City Council Shocked to Learn Police Cars and Asphalt Cost Money

lubbock-sucks — Thu, 16 Jul 2026 16:50:10 +0000

Welcome to another thrilling episode of “How is This City Still Functioning?” The Lubbock City Council recently gathered for a budget work session to discover that money doesn’t actually grow on cotton fields. It turns out city revenue is growing at a pathetic 1 percent, which is completely losing the race against “municipal inflation”. City [...]

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Silicon Prairie or Signs of the Apocalypse? Lubbock Freaks Out Over AI Data Centers

lubbock-sucks — Thu, 16 Jul 2026 16:40:12 +0000

Our visionary city leaders are desperate to turn the Hub City into a tech mecca, but the locals are already pulling out the pitchforks. The City of Lubbock recently launched an online survey and packed more than 500 furious residents into the Civic Center banquet hall for a public meeting to discuss large-scale data centers [...]

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Thanks For Saving Us From A Raise, Ken: How Paxton’s 100-Lawsuit Binge Kept Texas Proud and Poorer

lubbock-sucks — Wed, 15 Jul 2026 17:18:38 +0000

Remember in 2024 when the federal government threatened to force employers to pay overtime to anyone making less than $58,656? It was a terrifying prospect that would have put $1.5 billion into the pockets of millions of low-wage workers. Fortunately, Texas Attorney General and professional legal troll Ken Paxton sprinted to the courts to save [...]

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Groundbreaking Innovation: Lubbock Approves Even More Chicken Fingers and Oil Changes for Q2 2026

lubbock-sucks — Thu, 02 Jul 2026 17:38:34 +0000

The second-quarter commercial permit filings for 2026 are officially in, and to absolutely no one’s surprise, the Hub City is doubling down on its favorite holy trinity: fried poultry, automotive maintenance, and endless orange construction cones. Local bureaucrats have greenlit dozens of new projects, ensuring that our landscape remains a beautiful, uninterrupted vista of strip [...]

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Project Caprock is Bringing AI to Abernathy, Because What Our Power Grid Needed Was More Homework

lubbock-sucks — Thu, 02 Jul 2026 17:07:03 +0000

Just what the South Plains needed: more digital infrastructure to power the global supply of AI-generated slop while our actual, physical infrastructure hangs on by a thread. Aligned Data Centers has officially moved forward with “Project Caprock,” a massive $425 million data center campus spanning 313 acres just up the road off FM 54 in [...]

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Victory! Lubbock Chamber of Commerce Saves America From the Absolute Horror of Paying Truck Drivers Fair Wages

lubbock-sucks — Tue, 30 Jun 2026 16:45:50 +0000

A federal judge right here in the Hub City has officially saved the nation from the crushing tyranny of… making sure blue-collar workers get paid properly. In a stunning victory for people who love cheap labor, a Lubbock court permanently killed a Biden-era update to the 1931 Davis-Bacon Act. The regulations were meant to ensure [...]

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Great News, Lubbock: Flesh-Eating Maggots Are Devouring Texas Cattle, and the Feds Are Fresh Out of Horny Flies

lubbock-sucks — Wed, 24 Jun 2026 15:26:13 +0000

The New World screwworm is officially in Texas, giving West Texas ranchers a horrifying new reason to lose sleep. The flesh-eating parasite made its grand debut in a South Texas calf in early June, putting the state’s massive livestock industry in absolute jeopardy. But don’t look to Washington or Austin for a quick fix. USDA [...]

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Data Centers Are Coming to Suck Lubbock Dry, But Hey, At Least We Get a Town Hall Meeting!

lubbock-sucks — Wed, 24 Jun 2026 14:53:20 +0000

Well, look who wants to move to the Hub City and drink all our water. Tech conglomerates are suddenly eyeing Lubbock like a freshman eyes a 2:00 a.m. Whataburger run, and the city is scrambling. After a data center town hall in May completely overflowed the press box club level at Jones AT&T Stadium, Mayor [...]

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Tech-Bro Meltdowns and Nuclear AI: Inside the Billion-Dollar Playground on Tech Land

lubbock-sucks — Sat, 20 Jun 2026 14:43:00 +0000

Welcome to West Texas, where we might not have a reliable municipal power grid, but we are apparently building a 5,000-acre, nuclear-powered mega-data center on Texas Tech land to feed the AI overlords. Project Matador is designed to generate up to 17 gigawatts of power—enough for 12 million homes—but instead of helping humans survive the [...]

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Flesh-Eating Maggots and Horny Flies: Just Another Tuesday in Lubbock

lubbock-sucks — Fri, 19 Jun 2026 12:52:42 +0000

Oh, fantastic. Just what West Texas needed to round out its charm portfolio: flesh-eating maggots. The New World screwworm is back after a 60-year hiatus, prompting Governor Abbott to declare a statewide disaster across all 254 counties. Because nothing says “Texas is thriving” quite like a parasitic blowfly that lays eggs in open wounds so [...]

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Lubbock County Solves All Crime By Shutting Down Half Of Its Neon-Lit Menaces

lubbock-sucks — Wed, 17 Jun 2026 12:44:17 +0000

Lubbock County Commissioners have finally tackled our absolute number one public safety threat: bored locals and retirees staring at flashing screens. Thanks to a hyper-aggressive game room ordinance passed last year and aggressively tweaked this past February, the county has successfully nuked the number of local game rooms from 45 down to a mere 23. [...]

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Great News, West Texas: Flesh-Eating Maggots Are Here to Ruin Your BBQ

lubbock-sucks — Tue, 16 Jun 2026 15:28:23 +0000

Just when you thought living in West Texas couldn’t get any more dystopian—what with the record-shattering droughts, historic wildfires wiping out 15,000 head of cattle, and inflation making your grocery bill look like a car payment—enter the New World screwworm. Yes, actual flesh-eating maggots that liquefy livestock from the inside out in 72 hours are [...]

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Flesh-Eating Screwworms Have Arrived in West Texas, But Don’t Worry, Experts Say We Have Fly Swatters

lubbock-sucks — Fri, 12 Jun 2026 12:18:19 +0000

Just when you thought living on the South Plains couldn’t get any more glamorous, the universe decided to gift us the New World screwworm. For those unfamiliar with this lovely little creature, it’s a parasitic fly that hunts down warm-blooded animals with open wounds, lays hundreds of eggs, and lets its hatched maggots literally eat [...]

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Shocking Twist: Abbott Discovers ‘Regulation’ Isn’t a Dirty Word Now That AI Data Centers Are Set to Melt the Grid

lubbock-sucks — Wed, 10 Jun 2026 19:31:08 +0000

Well, feather my nest and call me a prairie dog, because the unthinkable has happened. Governor Greg Abbott—a man whose entire political brand is built on telling businesses they can do whatever the hell they want in Texas—has suddenly realized that letting infinite AI data centers overrun the state might not be the flawless victory [...]

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Flesh-Eating Maggots Outsmart Texas Bureaucracy in Record Time

lubbock-sucks — Tue, 09 Jun 2026 14:55:00 +0000

It takes a special kind of comedic timing to look completely foolish on a federal stage, but USDA Secretary Brooke Rollins managed it beautifully. On a Tuesday, Rollins condescendingly patted a Texas state representative on the head for “causing panic” after he claimed that flesh-eating New World screwworms were just a mile from the border. [...]

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Driven to Destitution: We’re Swimming in Permian Basin Oil, So Why is Filling Up the Tank Costing Us a Kidney?

lubbock-sucks — Sat, 06 Jun 2026 12:09:30 +0000

Welcome to West Texas, where a casual 90-mile daily commute is considered a “beautiful drive” rather than a cry for help. Take Philip Turner, a local Lubbock paramedic who drives all the way to Snyder to save lives for Scurry County EMS. He’s racking up to 360 miles a week just to get to work, [...]

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State Government Genius: Punishing Small Towns for Being Too Broke to Prove They’re Broke

lubbock-sucks — Fri, 05 Jun 2026 14:20:19 +0000

Leave it to our brilliant lawmakers in Austin to cook up a bureaucratic paradox straight out of a dystopian comedy. In their holy, never-ending war to convince voters they are lowering property taxes, Texas Republicans quietly passed a law that forbids cities from raising property tax revenue if they are behind on their annual financial [...]

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Slaton Farmer Confidently Gambles Entire Livelihood on Lubbock Weather and Middle East Stability

lubbock-sucks — Tue, 02 Jun 2026 17:35:50 +0000

It’s that magical time of year in the Hub City metroplex where local cotton farmers are frantically drag-racing the clock to dump seeds into the dirt before Friday’s crop insurance deadline. Because nothing says “sustainable economic foundation” quite like a panicked dash against bureaucratic cut-offs, all while praying the West Texas wind doesn’t just blow [...]

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Lubbock Appraisal District Discovers Ultimate Life Hack: Just Ignore the Evidence and Give Everyone a Discount

lubbock-sucks — Fri, 29 May 2026 15:11:55 +0000

Local tax protest guru Gary Adrian, founder of Ace of Texas, is absolutely throwing a fit because an out-of-town tech company named Ownwell figured out how to bully the Lubbock Central Appraisal District (LCAD) better than he did. Adrian stood before the LCAD board to whine that Ownwell “intentionally overloaded the system” by dumping 4,800 [...]

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Ted Cruz and Greg Abbott Team Up to Micromanage the Only Two Things Texas Cares About: Football and Affordable Cover-ups

lubbock-sucks — Fri, 29 May 2026 14:51:08 +0000

Just when you thought life in Lubbock couldn’t get any more thrilling than watching tumbleweeds collect in the local supermarket parking lot, our political overlords have descended from their ivory towers to save us. First up on the savior docket is Senator Ted Cruz, who has graciously blessed the nation with a massive 111-page legislative [...]

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Welcome to the Future: Downtown Lubbock Now Has an AI Data Center That Powers Like a McDonald’s and Exists in a Land-Lease Twilight Zone

lubbock-sucks — Fri, 29 May 2026 14:38:00 +0000

Big news, tech bros! We are officially a “tier-two or tier-three” underserved community, which means Florida-based Duos Edge AI just graced central Lubbock with a “million-dollar” decentralized computing center near 19th and Avenue Q. Finally, our flat landscape can process artificial intelligence right down the street from where you get your transmission flushed. The company’s [...]

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Don’t Blame Solar: Texas Tech’s New Gas-Guzzling AI Overlord is the Real Nightmare

lubbock-sucks — Tue, 26 May 2026 13:12:59 +0000

The local media loves a good, safe distraction. Recently, our local news channels have been wringing their hands over how young West Texas farmers are being priced out of agricultural land, pointing the finger squarely at big, bad solar farms. Even the American Farmland Trust is crying foul, predicting Texas will lose 2.2 million acres [...]

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Google Invites Lubbock to Discuss Data Centers, Forgets to Leave Any Seats for the Actual Community

lubbock-sucks — Thu, 21 May 2026 21:10:41 +0000

Nothing says “grassroots community transparency” quite like an exclusive, sold-out luncheon held at a stadium club. This Friday, the Lubbock Chamber of Commerce is hosting a totally unbiased, definitely-not-one-sided discussion at the Texas Tech Club to educate us simple folks on what data centers are, how they definitely won’t collapse our fragile power grid, and [...]

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Texas Tech’s Multi-Million Dollar AI Pipe Dream Is Currently an Absolute Tech-Bro Cage Match

lubbock-sucks — Wed, 20 May 2026 14:57:06 +0000

Because regular old West Texas wind and dust weren’t exciting enough, the Texas Tech University System decided to lease out 5,000 acres of land near Amarillo to a company called Fermi Inc. The goal? Project Matador, a sci-fi-scale AI data center that promises to consume gigawatts of power and—if we are all very lucky—might eventually [...]

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Awkward: John Cornyn Comes to Lubbock for a Photo-Op, Leaves with a Dagger in His Back

lubbock-sucks — Wed, 20 May 2026 13:31:23 +0000

U.S. Senator John Cornyn rolled into West Texas on Tuesday for what should have been an easy day of political theater: standing around at the Reese National Security Complex, nodding solemnly about “cybersecurity,” and helping Texas Tech break ground on its new Critical Infrastructure Security Site. Local bigwigs like Texas House Speaker Dustin Burrows and [...]

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Global Oil Crisis Threatens Lubbock Budget, City Fights Back with Revolutionary “Buy Gas When We Need It” Strategy

lubbock-sucks — Wed, 20 May 2026 13:11:43 +0000

Well, folks, the geopolitical dominoes are falling, and right at the end of the line is our beloved Hub City, getting kicked directly in the wallet. Thanks to the U.S.-Israel war with Iran choking off the Strait of Hormuz, gas prices across Texas have surged from an adorable $2.55 back in February to a soul-crushing [...]

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Don Quixote Wins: Feds Freeze West Texas Wind Projects to Protect Our Precious Radar (and Oil)

lubbock-sucks — Mon, 18 May 2026 18:52:49 +0000

The U.S. Department of Defense has apparently decided that the greatest threat to American national security isn’t cyber warfare or geopolitical rivals, but giant, stationary metal pinwheels. In a move that surprises absolutely no one who tracks the federal government’s ongoing crusade against renewable energy, the DoD has put 54 wind projects across Texas on [...]

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Lubbock Justice: Blast Through a Red Light, Kill a Family, and Get Five Years of ‘Pretty Please Don’t Do It Again’

lubbock-sucks — Fri, 15 May 2026 18:29:02 +0000

Welcome back to Hub City, where the speed limits are purely vibe-based, stoplights are decorative, and the local justice system operates on a sliding scale of how much your family name matters. Our latest example of Lubbock excellence features 35-year-old Jordan Merchant—Principal and President of Construction at 7B Development—who just walked out of the 140th [...]

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The Texas Miracle: We’re Trading Our Last Cup of Water for a ChatGPT Server Farm

lubbock-sucks — Fri, 08 May 2026 16:08:21 +0000

It turns out the “Texas Miracle” Governor Abbott keeps preaching about is actually just a high-stakes trade: we give Silicon Valley our remaining groundwater, and in exchange, they give us a massive “Stargate” data center that creates three jobs and enough heat to finish off the Panhandle. Rural Republicans like Rena Schroeder are finally realizing [...]

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We’re #1! Texas Leads the Nation in Utility Shutoffs Because Who Needs Electricity in a Desert Anyway?

lubbock-sucks — Tue, 05 May 2026 17:40:26 +0000

Crack open a warm, un-refrigerated beer, Lubbock, because Texas has officially taken the crown. According to a depressing new federal report, the Lone Star State led the entire country in residential electricity shutoffs, racking up over 3 million disconnections. We also swept the competition in natural gas shutoffs, because why settle for just being hot [...]

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Breaking: Lubbock Residents Shocked to Find Out Big Trucks Require Actual Money to Move

lubbock-sucks — Thu, 30 Apr 2026 15:30:11 +0000

In a turn of events that surprised absolutely no one with a basic grasp of geopolitics, gas prices in Texas have skyrocketed to a delightful $3.78 a gallon. Apparently, when you close the Strait of Hormuz during a war, the magic juice that makes your oversized dually go “vroom” gets a bit pricier. While the [...]

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The Great Texas Thirst: Corpus is Out of Water, and Lubbock is Just One Dust Storm Away from Joining Them

lubbock-sucks — Wed, 29 Apr 2026 14:42:32 +0000

While we’re all busy complaining about the latest pothole on Slide Road, our neighbors down in the Coastal Bend are currently starring in their own real-life reboot of Mad Max. At least six small towns around Corpus Christi have officially declared disaster status because their reservoirs are hitting a pathetic 8% capacity. Corpus Christi, the [...]

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Raider Power? More Like Raider-Hush: Texas Tech Rebrands as a Very Expensive Trade School

lubbock-sucks — Tue, 28 Apr 2026 12:48:06 +0000

In a move that surprised absolutely no one who has spent more than five minutes in West Texas, the Texas Tech Board of Regents has decided that the “university” part of Texas Tech University was getting a little too trendy. Following the lead of Chancellor Brandon Creighton—the man who literally wrote the state law he’s [...]

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Permian Basin ‘Entrepreneurs’ Discover That Stolen Oil Still Comes With Free Federal Room and Board

lubbock-sucks — Thu, 23 Apr 2026 18:18:24 +0000

In a city where the most exciting news is usually a new car wash opening or a particularly aggressive dust storm, we finally have some “disruptors” in the local economy. Fourteen absolute visionaries from Texas and New Mexico were just indicted for running what can only be described as a five-finger discount program for crude [...]

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George Strait is Coming to Save Our Sinking Economy (And Drink Every Last Coors Light in the County)

lubbock-sucks — Wed, 22 Apr 2026 12:58:54 +0000

Lubbock is currently in the middle of a collective nervous breakdown because King George is descending upon Jones AT&T Stadium this weekend. According to the geniuses at the Lubbock Economic Development Alliance (LEDA), we are officially “sold out,” which is a terrifying phrase usually reserved for concert tickets but, in this case, applies to our [...]

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Ted Cruz Saves West Texas From the Imminent Threat of Having Too Much Nature

lubbock-sucks — Wed, 22 Apr 2026 12:36:04 +0000

Our favorite part-time resident and full-time soundbite machine, Ted Cruz, is back to save us from the terrifying prospect of… birds. Ted is championing a law to ensure the Muleshoe Wildlife Refuge never expands, because nothing says “Texas Freedom” like making sure 700,000 acres of dirt stay exactly as dusty and unproductive as God intended. [...]

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Concrete Jungle Dreams: Machine Wins Round One on North Ave K

lubbock-sucks — Tue, 21 Apr 2026 15:34:25 +0000

While most of us were still nursing our third cup of bitter gas station coffee and contemplating the existential dread of another Tuesday in the dust bowl, someone over on North Ave K was having a much more literal “trap” of a morning. Around 8:44 a.m., Lubbock Fire Rescue had to rush to a local [...]

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Socialism for Me, But Not for Thee: Lubbock Farmers Beg for Cotton Handouts

lubbock-sucks — Tue, 21 Apr 2026 15:21:37 +0000

In a move that will surely surprise absolutely no one who understands how “free markets” work in West Texas, our local ag overlords are back at the federal trough. The Buy American Cotton Act (BACA) is gaining steam, because apparently, being the “best fiber in the world” isn’t quite enough to beat the competition in [...]

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Matador Down: Toby Neugebauer Bails on Trump’s AI Pipe Dream Before the AC Even Turns On

lubbock-sucks — Mon, 20 Apr 2026 19:37:04 +0000

West Texas has always been the land of big hats and no cattle, but Fermi America—led by our very own high school “pharmaceutical” connection, Toby Neugebauer—has taken the trope to a literal, multi-billion-dollar scale. The “President Donald Trump Advanced Energy and Intelligence Campus” (yes, that’s the real name, and no, the irony isn’t lost on [...]

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ERCOT Predicts We’ll Need 400% More Power by 2032, Then Immediately Admits They’re Basically Just Guessing

lubbock-sucks — Sat, 18 Apr 2026 15:17:11 +0000

In a move that surprises absolutely no one who has ever tried to turn on a space heater during a Texas “flurry,” our beloved grid overlords at ERCOT have released a new forecast that is as terrifying as it is completely made up. According to their latest report, Texas is going to need 367,790 megawatts [...]

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Texas Graciously Grants You a Three-Day Discount on Not Dying During the Next Dust-Induced Apocalypse

lubbock-sucks — Fri, 17 Apr 2026 14:09:23 +0000

Acting Comptroller Kelly Hancock—filling in for whoever usually handles our impending doom—wants you to know that from April 25 to 27, the State of Texas is briefly suspending its habit of nickel-and-diming you so you can actually afford to survive the next weather-related catastrophe. It’s the “Emergency Preparation Supplies Sales Tax Holiday,” a 72-hour window [...]

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Behold the Glory: TxDOT Finally Finishes Four Whole Miles of Loop 88

lubbock-sucks — Thu, 16 Apr 2026 18:27:33 +0000

Break out the sparkling cider and the commemorative gold-plated shovels, because Lubbock has officially achieved the impossible. After five years of staring at orange cones and questioning our life choices on FM 1585, TxDOT has finally opened a “historic” four-mile stretch of Loop 88. That’s right—four miles. At this blistering pace of roughly 0.8 miles [...]

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Trump Kills $7M Grant Because Apparently Learning to Farm is “Too Woke” Now

lubbock-sucks — Thu, 16 Apr 2026 17:08:23 +0000

Meet Diana Padilla, a woman from Harlingen who had the audacity to think that teaching Texans how to grow their own food was a good idea. For years, she and her husband have been running a community garden, giving “pep talks” to people who couldn’t afford organic kale at the farmer’s market. It was all [...]

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Expansionist Delusions: Lubbock Lawmakers Want to Manifest Destiny into New Mexico’s Dust

lubbock-sucks — Tue, 14 Apr 2026 13:15:34 +0000

Because apparently, 268,000 square miles of tumbleweeds and orange traffic cones isn’t enough to satisfy the Texas ego, our very own Lubbock-based State Representatives, Dustin Burrows and Carl Tepper, have decided to play a high-stakes game of Risk. They’ve launched a formal “study” to see if Texas can annex Lea, Roosevelt, and Eddy counties from [...]

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Texas Comptroller Discovers That ‘Acting’ Doesn’t Mean ‘King of the Universe’

lubbock-sucks — Tue, 14 Apr 2026 13:08:47 +0000

In a shocking twist for anyone who thinks the Texas Constitution is just a suggestion, an Austin judge has officially told acting Comptroller Kelly Hancock to sit down and behave. On Monday, Judge Amy Meachum issued a temporary injunction blocking the state’s bold (and by “bold,” I mean “legally questionable”) move to kick women and [...]

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Governor Abbott Graces Levelland With His Presence to Watch People Actually Work

lubbock-sucks — Mon, 13 Apr 2026 21:06:39 +0000

Fresh off securing his fourth GOP nomination—because why change a thing when the status quo is this exciting—Governor Greg Abbott is making a daring trek to the sprawling metropolis of Levelland this Tuesday. Apparently, nothing screams “future of the Texas economy” quite like a Tuesday afternoon in Hockley County. He’s heading to South Plains College [...]

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