Elections Archives | Lubbock Sucks

District 4 Runoff: Choose Between Infinite Concrete Sprawl and a Political Relic Who Sued His Way onto the Ballot

lubbock-sucks — Mon, 29 Jun 2026 15:33:15 +0000

Just when you thought you could go a whole month without thinking about local politics, the Lubbock City Council District 4 special election has gifted us a runoff. The seat was left vacant after Braden Rose decided he’d rather spend time with his family than sit through another grueling council meeting, triggering an election that [...]

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Four Men, Zero Pools, and an AI Scare: The District 4 Race to Replace Brayden Rose

lubbock-sucks — Mon, 15 Jun 2026 12:48:15 +0000

Now that Councilman Brayden Rose has officially checked out, District 4 voters are being treated to a special election circus featuring four guys trying to out-conservative each other. (A fifth candidate, Stephanie Ferran, apparently couldn’t be bothered to respond to the media deadline, which honestly might be the most relatable political strategy yet). The remaining [...]

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Texas GOP Achieves 100% Pure Sycophancy Just as Voters Realize Trump Didn’t Fix Their Grocery Bills

lubbock-sucks — Fri, 29 May 2026 14:46:22 +0000

Welcome to Texas, where the only thing inflating faster than the price of a gallon of milk is the required level of absolute, unblinking devotion to the MAGA universe. In the latest round of runoff elections, the Texas Republican Party completed its transformation from a standard pro-business group into a full-blown loyalty cult. Longtime Senator [...]

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Texas GOP Swiftly Deletes Its Memory Because Principles Don’t Win Senate Seats

lubbock-sucks — Thu, 28 May 2026 19:17:30 +0000

Ken Paxton absolutely demolished establishment favorite John Cornyn by nearly 30 percentage points in the Republican primary runoff, proving once again that Texas primary voters love a rebel—especially one with a rap sheet. This is the exact same Ken Paxton that the National Republican Senatorial Committee (NRSC) spent millions of dollars bashing as “corrupt,” “incompetent,” [...]

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Runoff Reality Check: Lubbock Welcomes Our New Overlords Chosen By Seven Whole Voters

lubbock-sucks — Wed, 27 May 2026 12:41:48 +0000

Well, another primary runoff election is in the books, and to the surprise of absolutely no one who has ever stepped foot in West Texas, the color red reigns supreme. Locally, we can all breathe a sigh of relief knowing that the grueling battle for Lubbock County Commissioner is over. In Precinct 2, Kevin Pounds [...]

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Go Pick Your Favorite Multi-Millionaire at the Sutherlands Lighting Section: The 2026 Runoffs Are Here!

lubbock-sucks — Tue, 26 May 2026 13:26:59 +0000

It’s Tuesday, May 26, and the 2026 Joint Primary Runoffs are officially here to drag us back to the polls because nobody could agree on a candidate back in March. Historically, only about 8.2% of registered Texas voters actually bother to show up for these political overtime rounds, meaning a tiny, highly reactive fraction of [...]

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Lubbock Mayor’s Endorsed Congressional Candidate Proves “Biblical Values” Usually Involve Grindr Receipts

lubbock-sucks — Wed, 20 May 2026 16:50:00 +0000

Remember back in February when our freshly re-elected Mayor, Mark “No Pride Proclamations in My Town” McBrayer, proudly endorsed Abraham Enriquez for Congress? McBrayer praised the 31-year-old candidate for having the “courage and conviction” to uphold West Texas conservative values. Well, it turns out Enriquez has been holding onto those values real tight—right alongside his [...]

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Choose Your Flavor of Chaos: Paxton Leads Cornyn as the Texas GOP Tries to Out-GOP Itself

lubbock-sucks — Tue, 05 May 2026 17:47:15 +0000

Just when you thought Texas politics couldn’t get any more exhausting, the latest University of Houston Hobby School poll dropped to remind us that the May 26 Republican runoff is going to be a absolute knife fight. Attorney General Ken Paxton—a man who carries more legal baggage than a carousel at the airport—is currently leading [...]

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Texas GOP Claims Victory for “Equality” (By Making Sure Your Vote Matters Even Less)

lubbock-sucks — Thu, 30 Apr 2026 21:44:54 +0000

The Supreme Court finally gave the Texas GOP the permission slip they’ve been begging for. In a move that surprised absolutely no one who has paid attention to the last decade of Texas politics, the court decided that Section 2 of the Voting Rights Act isn’t technically dead—it’s just been moved to the intensive care [...]

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Silence is Golden: KFYO’s Resident Loudspeaker Finally Hits Mute

lubbock-sucks — Thu, 30 Apr 2026 21:37:16 +0000

In a shocking turn of events for anyone who thought yelling into a vacuum was a recipe for immortality, local AM radio fixture Chad Hasty has passed away at the age of 43. Hasty, who spent over two decades ensuring that every West Texan’s morning commute was seasoned with exactly the right amount of political [...]

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Lubbock Early Voting Hits 10-Year Low: Local Democracy Officially Less Popular Than a Dust Storm

lubbock-sucks — Thu, 30 Apr 2026 15:22:52 +0000

Lubbock County just recorded its lowest early voting turnout for a May election since 2014. Over the course of eight grueling days, a whopping 7,800 people managed to drag themselves to the polls. To put that in perspective, we probably have more people waiting in the drive-thru at Chick-fil-A on a Tuesday morning than we [...]

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The “Big Beautiful Map” is Here to Stay, Because Who Needs Competitive Elections Anyway?

lubbock-sucks — Mon, 27 Apr 2026 17:30:44 +0000

Well, color me shocked. The U.S. Supreme Court just officially cleared Texas’ newly redrawn congressional map for the 2026 midterms and beyond. After a brief moment of hope where a lower court suggested that maybe, just maybe, drawing lines specifically to sideline minority voters was a bit “discriminatory,” the high court stepped in to remind [...]

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City Hall Learns to Read: Gary Boren Sues His Way Onto the Ballot

lubbock-sucks — Fri, 24 Apr 2026 19:12:34 +0000

Lubbock is currently embroiled in its favorite pastime: a legal slap-fight over things that should be simple. Gary Boren wanted to run for the District 4 seat, but City Hall tried to kick him to the curb because he’s only lived in the district for two months. Apparently, the City Secretary thinks you need to [...]

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Texas GOP Discovers “Actions Have Consequences,” Promptly Melts Down

lubbock-sucks — Thu, 23 Apr 2026 18:25:17 +0000

In a move that surprised absolutely no one who has ever played a game of “fuck around and find out,” Texas Republicans are currently reeling after their brilliant plan to rig the federal map mid-decade blew up in their faces. Last summer, our state’s leadership decided to do Donald Trump a solid by redrawing congressional [...]

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Democracy Held Hostage by a Dust Cloth: Lubbock Voting Machines “Bumfuzzled” by Basic Maintenance

lubbock-sucks — Wed, 22 Apr 2026 12:46:56 +0000

Only in the Hub City could the simple act of tidying up lead to a total systemic collapse of the democratic process. Early voting in Lubbock County hit a screeching halt this week because our high-tech voting machines apparently have the structural integrity of a house of cards in a West Texas windstorm. It turns [...]

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Dallas GOP Sues for the Right to Stand in the Wrong Line (Coming Soon to Lubbock?)

lubbock-sucks — Wed, 22 Apr 2026 12:39:29 +0000

In a move that proves some people actually miss the feeling of being rejected at a library door, the Dallas County GOP is suing to bring back the absolute dumpster fire that was precinct-only voting. Because why let people vote at any convenient location on their way to work when you can force them to [...]

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Democracy Dies Between the Deli and the Dairy Aisle: Lubbock’s Voting Machines Quit Life

lubbock-sucks — Mon, 20 Apr 2026 19:20:07 +0000

Just when you thought the most stressful part of a trip to United was dodging a frantic suburban mom in a Tahoe, Lubbock County has officially upped the stakes. Apparently, our state-of-the-art ballot marking devices have decided to enter a collective coma at thirteen different locations across the county. Whether you’re trying to do your [...]

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Ken Paxton Attacks the Real Enemy of Democracy: Your Unused Visa Gift Cards

lubbock-sucks — Mon, 20 Apr 2026 19:12:42 +0000

Our favorite legal eagle and part-time hobbyist Attorney General, Ken Paxton, is back at it again. This time, he’s filed a lawsuit against ActBlue, the fundraising powerhouse for Democrats, because apparently, the biggest threat to the Lone Star State isn’t the crumbling infrastructure or the fact that it’s 105 degrees in April—it’s people donating to [...]

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Cornyn’s War Chest vs. Paxton’s Piggy Bank: A Race to See Who Can Annoy Us More

lubbock-sucks — Thu, 16 Apr 2026 14:47:40 +0000

John Cornyn is currently wiping the floor with Ken Paxton, at least when it comes to the only metric Lubbock’s elite actually care about: cold, hard cash. Cornyn pulled in a staggering $9 million this quarter, while Paxton managed to scrape together a measly $2.2 million. Apparently, being the “establishment” guy pays significantly better than [...]

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Austin Golden Boy Raises Enough Cash to Buy Every Dr Pepper in Lubbock, Still Faces the Texas GOP Buzzsaw

lubbock-sucks — Thu, 16 Apr 2026 14:18:14 +0000

In news that will surely make the local MAGA hat-wearing crowd choke on their 7-Eleven coffee, Democratic State Rep. James Talarico just announced he hauled in a staggering $27 million in the first three months of 2026. That’s not just “Texas big”; it’s a national record for a Senate candidate in the first quarter of [...]

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Uncle Sam Wants Your Signature: Feds Descend on Lubbock Because Paperwork Is Scary

lubbock-sucks — Sat, 11 Apr 2026 16:48:17 +0000

Guess what, Lubbock? We’re finally popular! The Department of Homeland Security is sliding into our DMs—and by DMs, I mean administrative subpoenas. Apparently, the feds are convinced that the real threat to national security isn’t international cartels or cyber warfare, but whether or not Grandma actually signed her voter registration card in cursive. Our very [...]

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Panic in Austin: Dan Patrick Realizes Screaming About Vouchers Won’t Save the GOP from Itself

lubbock-sucks — Wed, 08 Apr 2026 21:55:59 +0000

Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick—a man who usually spends his days finding new and creative ways to make librarians cry—has suddenly looked at a calendar and realized that November is coming. While speaking at a policy summit in Austin (the city he claims to hate but can’t seem to leave), Patrick admitted that Republicans might actually [...]

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Lubbock Actually Notices There’s an Election

lubbock-sucks — Thu, 05 Mar 2026 14:30:24 +0000

In a shocking development that has scientists questioning the laws of physics, a whopping 23% of Texans actually managed to find a polling place this week. That’s right—nearly one in four registered voters took a break from staring at the horizon to participate in the primary. Locally, Lubbock County was called out as a “high [...]

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Lubbock Clerk Candidate Discovers “The Law” is Just a Suggestion if You’re Mad Enough

lubbock-sucks — Fri, 20 Feb 2026 17:57:04 +0000

Ah, election season in the Hub City. That magical time of year when the wind blows at 50 mph, the dirt coats your lungs, and local candidates remind us that they’ve never actually read the U.S. Constitution. Today’s contestant in the “I Make My Own Reality” sweepstakes is Jim Baxa, a man running for Lubbock [...]

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Texas GOP Proposes Genius Plan to Make Sure Even Fewer People Vote for Them

lubbock-sucks — Fri, 20 Feb 2026 15:57:17 +0000

In a move that surprises absolutely no one who has spent more than five minutes in this state, the Republican Party of Texas—backed by our ever-litigious Attorney General Ken Paxton—is suing to ensure their primary is as exclusive as a country club gala but with more paperwork. They’ve decided that “freedom” means forcing you to [...]

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Hell Freezes Over in Fort Worth: Can Someone Check the Temperature in Lubbock?

lubbock-sucks — Mon, 02 Feb 2026 15:59:59 +0000

In a turn of events that has local GOP chairs clutching their pearls and checking for a pulse, Democrat Taylor Rehmet just flipped a Texas Senate seat in a district Donald Trump won by 17 points only two years ago. Yes, you read that right. A labor union leader and veteran managed to beat out [...]

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Texas Hands Over Voter Data to Trump DOJ, Because What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

lubbock-sucks — Fri, 09 Jan 2026 13:05:18 +0000

In a move that surprised absolutely no one who’s been paying attention for the last decade, Texas quietly handed over its entire voter roll — all 18.4 million of us — to the Trump administration’s Department of Justice just before Christmas. You know, as a stocking stuffer. Included in the data dump: dates of birth, [...]

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Greg Abbott Rediscovers His Love of Federal Power—As Long As It’s Trump Holding the Flashlight

lubbock-sucks — Sun, 30 Nov 2025 21:10:31 +0000

In a plot twist nobody asked for but everyone expected, Gov. Greg Abbott has gone from “states’ rights forever!” to “yes sir, Mr. President!” in record time. Just last year, Abbott warned Biden that moving Air National Guard units to Space Force would be a “dangerous precedent” and an “intolerable threat” to state authority. Fast-forward [...]

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“Droves,” Apparently Means 2.8%: Lubbock’s Early Voting Stampede Reaches… 5,460

lubbock-sucks — Tue, 28 Oct 2025 12:24:18 +0000

Lubbock County is patting itself on the back because 5,460 people showed up in the first week of early voting for 17 state constitutional amendments. That’s 2.8% of 197,870 registered voters—so yes, technically more than zero, and apparently enough to “surpass” the turnout from 2011, the last time we got this kind of amendments-only snoozefest. [...]

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$290 Million Question: Will Lubbock Voters Fund Schools, or Just More Yard Signs?

lubbock-sucks — Mon, 28 Apr 2025 18:58:06 +0000

Lubbock ISD wants voters to approve a $290 million bond to build three new elementary schools, expand a couple of middle schools, upgrade infrastructure, and improve career and technical education programs. Supporters include basically every PTA in town, the Chamber of Commerce, and the Realtors Association. Opponents include conservative PACs, Facebook warriors, and Jim Baxa—the [...]

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How Much of Lubbock County Voted for Trump in the 2024 Presidential Election?

lubbock-sucks — Mon, 25 Nov 2024 20:55:17 +0000

Trump Dominates Lubbock County Voting in 2024 In the 2024 presidential election, former President Donald J. Trump secured a decisive victory in Lubbock County, Texas, capturing 69.22% of the local vote. This result marks his strongest performance in the county across the last three election cycles, signaling an intensifying Republican stronghold. A Rising Republican Trend [...]

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Trump Wins Bigger, Broadway Gets New Bricks, and Lubbock Calls It Progress

lubbock-sucks — Wed, 06 Nov 2024 21:11:00 +0000

Lubbock County voters turned out in record numbers for the 2024 elections, and surprise, surprise — they gave Donald Trump an even bigger win than in 2020. The twice-impeached, freshly convicted, hush-money-porn-star-payer is headed back to the White House, and Lubbock is thrilled. Kamala Harris barely cracked 30% here, because of course she didn’t. Locally, [...]

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