Guns Archives | Lubbock Sucks

Happy Belated Fourth! LPD Finally Notices July 5th Shooting, Offers Pocket Change for Info

lubbock-sucks — Thu, 16 Jul 2026 17:01:44 +0000

Well, folks, it looks like the Lubbock Police Department operates on the same internal clock as a hungover college student after a long weekend. The crack team over at the Major Crimes Unit has finally looked at the calendar, realized it’s mid-July, and decided to ask the public for help regarding a mass shooting that [...]

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Shocking News: Someone Got Shot on Avenue Q at 2 AM, Suspect Conveniently Already in Jail

lubbock-sucks — Tue, 30 Jun 2026 16:51:58 +0000

Ah, Avenue Q. Lubbock’s premier destination for pothole navigation, used car lots, and apparently, dodging bullets at two in the morning. In news that surprises absolutely no one who has ever set foot in the Hub City after dark, the Lubbock Police Department has finally pinned a June 13 club shooting on 38-year-old Cesar Ledezma. [...]

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Masterclass in Stealth: Lubbock Man Uses Neon Yellow PT Cruiser as Beer Heist Getaway Car

lubbock-sucks — Sat, 27 Jun 2026 14:57:13 +0000

Another day, another masterpiece of criminal mastermind behavior in the Hub City. This week’s standard-bearer for local innovation is 38-year-old Jerry Smith, who decided that actually paying for two cases of beer at a convenience store near Interstate 27 and 34th Street was purely optional. When a store employee had the absolute audacity to follow [...]

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Nominative Determinism Strikes Again: Clovis Woman Named ‘Outlaw’ Arrested for Living Up to the Family Brand

lubbock-sucks — Tue, 16 Jun 2026 15:21:54 +0000

Because Lubbock apparently doesn’t have quite enough homegrown chaos to fill a local broadcast, KCBD graciously reached across the New Mexico border to bring us a heartwarming tale of family bonding from Clovis. At 3:22 AM on a Monday—the peak hour for rational human decision-making—a 17-year-old boy allegedly decided to settle a physical argument with [...]

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Nature is Healing: Avenue Q Nightlife Demands Its Weekly Sacrifice

lubbock-sucks — Sun, 14 Jun 2026 12:05:46 +0000

Ah, the weekend in the Hub City. Some people spend it enjoying the fine dust blowing in from New Mexico, others spend it praying their air conditioner doesn’t explode, and a select few choose to immerse themselves in the high-stakes theater that is the 50th and Avenue Q intersection after midnight. Around 2:08 a.m. on [...]

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Two Wheels, One Cheap Pistol, and Zero Brain Cells: Clovis Man Perfects the Bicycle Drive-By

lubbock-sucks — Wed, 10 Jun 2026 19:27:14 +0000

Just when you think West Texas has a absolute monopoly on mind-numbing, logic-defying crime, our neighbors just across the state line in Clovis, New Mexico, scream “hold my warm Keystone Light.” Last month, Andrew Robles decided to completely reinvent the classic drive-by shooting by trading in a getaway car for some good old-fashioned pedal power. [...]

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Lubbock’s Latest Home Improvement Trend: Stashing 188 Grams of Meth in the Ceiling

lubbock-sucks — Thu, 04 Jun 2026 14:08:21 +0000

Nothing says “Hub City hospitality” quite like a multi-agency Tuesday night block party featuring the Lubbock County Sheriff’s Office, the Department of Public Safety, and a full SWAT team. This particular tactical family reunion went down at a residence on East County Road 6540, where law enforcement executed a search warrant and discovered that Lubbock [...]

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Location, Location, Location: Lubbock Genius Chooses Courthouses for Failed Grand Theft Auto Speedrun

lubbock-sucks — Tue, 02 Jun 2026 17:22:25 +0000

If you’re planning to embark on a chaotic, multi-vehicle carjacking spree, standard criminal logic suggests picking a quiet neighborhood or a dark alley. But here in the Hub City, we do things a little differently. Meet 26-year-old Isaiah Houston, who decided the absolute best venue for his Friday afternoon crime spree was the 800 block [...]

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Lubbock’s Latest Bedtime Lullaby: Midnight Gunshots at The Landing

lubbock-sucks — Fri, 29 May 2026 15:14:39 +0000

Set your alarms, Hub City, because nothing says “restful night’s sleep” quite like the soothing, midnight echo of gunfire. Around 12:15 a.m. on Thursday, the Lubbock Police Department had to interrupt their late-night routine to roll out to The Landing at Pinewood Park apartments near 4th and Slide Road. Because honestly, what’s a week in [...]

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West Texas Chivalry: Suspect Pauses High-Speed Police Chase To Politey Drop Off Passenger Before Fatal Shootout

lubbock-sucks — Mon, 25 May 2026 13:57:01 +0000

Ah, Sunday afternoon on the South Plains. Some people go to church, some hit the local buffet, and others decide that a routine traffic stop in downtown Floydada is the perfect excuse to launch a multi-county police chase through the scenic, entirely flat nothingness of West Texas. Because why just sign a speeding ticket when [...]

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Shocking News: Bored Kids With No Public Pools Turn to “Organized Crime” This Summer

lubbock-sucks — Sat, 23 May 2026 15:23:10 +0000

School is officially out in Lubbock, which means city leadership is once again bracing for the completely predictable consequences of their own choices. According to the Lubbock Police Department, summertime historically brings a spike in juvenile mischief. Who could have possibly foreseen that stripping the city of affordable, heat-beating youth activities—like, say, public pools—would lead [...]

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Hub City Genius: Local Custom Gunsmith Traded His Federal License for a Multi-Agency Federal Raid

lubbock-sucks — Fri, 22 May 2026 15:13:36 +0000

Leave it to Lubbock to produce a guy who manages to run a licensed, custom firearms business out of his house while simultaneously turning his personal Google account into a flashing neon sign for federal law enforcement. Meet 53-year-old Justin Ables, a man who apparently looked at the vast, desolate landscape of West Texas and [...]

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Operation Hub City Shield: Feds Descend on Lubbock to Remind Us We’re Safe (While Listing a Million Crimes)

lubbock-sucks — Thu, 21 May 2026 21:24:11 +0000

Well, look who finally put down the donuts and held a press conference. Turns out our scanner-traffic guess of “Operation Tejas” was wrong, because the feds have officially branded their latest summer PR push “Operation Hub City Shield”—or “Operation Red Car,” depending on which bureaucrat you ask. U.S. Attorney Ryan Raybould stood shoulder-to-shoulder with a [...]

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Avenue P Conflict Resolution: Lubbock Man Indicted for Shooting the Same Guy He Already Stabbed

lubbock-sucks — Wed, 20 May 2026 13:06:36 +0000

Welcome back to another thrilling episode of Lubbock’s Finest Criminal Minds. This week, a Lubbock County grand jury finally got around to indicting 42-year-old Tommy Rios for a fatal April shooting. Because nothing says “vibrant local nightlife” quite like a Friday night verbal altercation outside a convenience store in the 5900 block of Avenue P. [...]

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Local Genius Decides Best Place to Flex His Realistic Toy Gun is His Former High School Parking Lot

lubbock-sucks — Tue, 19 May 2026 14:04:03 +0000

Ah, Frenship High School. Where the alumni just can’t seem to stay away, and the parking lot drama never truly dies. Meet 17-year-old Roland Hernandez, a former student who apparently missed the thrilling ambiance of third-period algebra so much he decided to make a triumphant return visit this week. Only he didn’t come back to [...]

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The Lubbock “Civil” Breakup: Where ‘Getting Your Stuff Back’ Includes a Side of Lead

lubbock-sucks — Tue, 12 May 2026 14:42:13 +0000

Ah, Sunday in the Hub City. While most of us were arguing over the last basket of rolls at Texas Roadhouse, the fine folks over on 38th Street were busy turning a routine property retrieval into a scene from COPS. Because in Lubbock, you don’t just move out of a house—you survive it. Let’s talk [...]

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West Texas Sends Its Best: Midland Man Learns D.C. Has Actual Gun Laws the Hard Way

lubbock-sucks — Wed, 06 May 2026 20:54:08 +0000

Because life in the Permian Basin clearly wasn’t thrilling enough, 45-year-old Michael Marx of Midland decided to export some classic West Texas “charm” straight to the nation’s capital. On Monday afternoon, Marx found himself near the National Mall, right along the route of Vice President JD Vance’s motorcade. Instead of doing normal tourist things like [...]

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Routine Lubbock Traffic Stop Successfully Escalates Into Cross-County Gun Battle

lubbock-sucks — Wed, 06 May 2026 20:43:59 +0000

Around 11:35 p.m. on Tuesday night, a Lubbock police officer attempted what should have been a completely mundane traffic stop. But because this is the Hub City—where yielding is a foreign concept and traffic laws are treated as polite suggestions—the driver decided that pulling over was simply out of the question. Instead, they slammed on [...]

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North Avenue J Proves Once Again That Nothing Good Happens After Midnight in Lubbock

lubbock-sucks — Tue, 05 May 2026 17:29:22 +0000

It’s 2:30 on a Monday morning. In normal cities, people are fast asleep, dreading the upcoming workweek. But this is the Hub City, baby, which means the 2100 block of North Avenue J was just getting its second wind. Lubbock police rolled up to a residence expecting a standard-issue suicide call, only to discover that [...]

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Lubbock: Providing High-Quality Firearms to Mexican Cartels One Unlocked F-150 at a Time

lubbock-sucks — Fri, 01 May 2026 14:27:47 +0000

Chief Seth Herman has officially released the Lubbock Police Department’s 2025 annual report, and the news is exactly what you’d expect from the Hub City. Apparently, our local youth have traded in 4-H projects and TikTok dances for “prolific” gang violence. According to Herman, juvenile crime is skyrocketing because kids these days just don’t understand [...]

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Lubbock Hospitality: Where We Feed Your Dog Treats and Then Shoot It

lubbock-sucks — Thu, 30 Apr 2026 15:29:07 +0000

Welcome to Bell Farms, the South Lubbock suburban dream where the HOA fees are high and the trigger fingers are apparently even higher. In the latest installment of “Why We Can’t Have Nice Things,” a black German Shepherd named Oakley decided to take an unauthorized tour of the 2400 block of 144th Street. Because this [...]

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The “Executive” Lifestyle: Avenue Q’s Finest Hospitality Ends in SWAT Semi-Finals

lubbock-sucks — Fri, 24 Apr 2026 14:17:40 +0000

Lubbock’s Avenue Q remains the undisputed champion of “exactly what you expected to happen.” On Wednesday night, the Texas DPS and a SWAT team decided to check in at the Executive Inn—a name that, much like “Lubbock is a vacation destination,” is doing a lot of heavy lifting. It turns out the “executives” in question [...]

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Lubbock Love Language: Ramming, Shooting, and a Mid-Crime Power Nap

lubbock-sucks — Fri, 24 Apr 2026 14:13:12 +0000

Welcome back to another episode of “Why We Can’t Have Nice Things in the 806.” Today’s contestant for Mother of the Year is 22-year-old Cysili Quintanilla, who decided that a night out at Santiago’s wasn’t complete without a high-stakes demolition derby and a light dusting of gunfire. According to court docs, the festivities kicked off [...]

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Lubbock’s Latest Family Reunion Ends with a Self-Reported Murder Warrant

lubbock-sucks — Thu, 23 Apr 2026 18:27:24 +0000

In a city where the most exciting thing to do on a Wednesday night is usually complaining about the dust or wondering why the line at Raising Cane’s is three miles long, the residents of 126th Street decided to spice things up. Around 7:20 p.m., while most of us were settling into our evening routine [...]

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Local GTA Enthusiast Trades 120 MPH Thrills for 15 Years of Federal Boredom

lubbock-sucks — Tue, 21 Apr 2026 15:17:14 +0000

Welcome to Lubbock, where the wind blows at 50 mph and our criminals drive at 120. Jeremiah Daniel Rossette, a 29-year-old who apparently mistook Highway 84 for a closed course in Need for Speed, just entered a federal guilty plea for a January 2025 carjacking that was essentially a one-man parade of bad decisions. The [...]

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Hub City Conflict Resolution: Another Gas Station Argument Ends in Gunfire

lubbock-sucks — Mon, 20 Apr 2026 15:31:01 +0000

Because apparently, we can’t even buy a bag of Takis and a fountain soda in this town without it turning into a scene from a low-budget Western, 41-year-old Tommy Rios is currently enjoying the hospitality of the Lubbock County Detention Center. Our latest installment of “Central Lubbock Charm” went down Friday night near 59th and [...]

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Smith Unit Guard Takes a “Career Research” Trip to the Other Side of the Bars

lubbock-sucks — Fri, 17 Apr 2026 13:37:38 +0000

In today’s episode of Lubbock’s Best and Brightest, we meet 19-year-old Jo’Brian Liendo. Jo’Brian was a correctional officer at the Smith Unit in Lamesa, but apparently, he felt his job performance was suffering because he lacked “lived experience.” To fix this, he headed over to the 7200 block of Avenue S last Sunday to see [...]

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Lubbock’s Most Wanted: The Man Who Forgot His Car Was Snitching on Him

lubbock-sucks — Fri, 17 Apr 2026 13:35:19 +0000

It’s 2:30 a.m. in Lubbock. Most of us are either dreaming of a world without dust storms or regretting a late-night Spanky’s run, but 24-year-old Tadrian Ward was allegedly busy turning Avenue P into a low-budget action movie. According to the LPD, a verbal spat near 34th Street escalated into a multi-vehicle chase, because apparently, [...]

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Bulk Savings, Bulk Threats: Sam’s Club Now Offering a 24-Pack of Aggravated Assault

lubbock-sucks — Thu, 16 Apr 2026 14:25:19 +0000

Nothing says “Lubbock weekend” quite like a trip to the Marsha Sharp Sam’s Club to stock up on 48 rolls of toilet paper and a side of existential dread. But for one lucky couple back in February 2025, the shopping experience included a little something extra. Zeylium Rodriguez, 25, decided that “threatening glances” weren’t enough [...]

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Family Values: Justin Aleman Gets the ‘Lubbock Discount’ on a Double Homicide

lubbock-sucks — Thu, 09 Apr 2026 17:43:58 +0000

Ah, Mackenzie Park. The crown jewel of Lubbock where you can enjoy a picnic, watch the prairie dogs develop plague, or, apparently, get executed by your own nephew. In a move that surprised absolutely no one who has ever sat through a Lubbock County court proceeding, Justin Aleman officially traded his trial date for a [...]

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Ave Q: Where a Flat Tire is the Least of Your Problems

lubbock-sucks — Wed, 08 Apr 2026 20:56:59 +0000

Only in the Hub City can you pull into a tire shop to fix a flat and leave with no car, no wallet, and a fresh case of PTSD. Our victim was at Crest Tires on Avenue Q—because where else would you be for a crime story?—when a stranger decided that pointing a gun was [...]

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Mackenzie Park Easter: Because Nothing Says ‘He Is Risen’ Like a Punch to the Face and a Bullet to the Hand

lubbock-sucks — Mon, 06 Apr 2026 13:03:49 +0000

Nothing captures the spiritual majesty of Easter Sunday in Lubbock quite like the annual tradition of dodging projectiles at Mackenzie Park. While most of the civilized world was busy peeling hard-boiled eggs or pretending to enjoy ham, 40-year-old Margarito Sarmiento Espinoza was busy turning the park into a low-budget action movie. According to the police, [...]

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Family Values: Mom Helps Scrap the Getaway Car After ‘Project Drunk’ Massacre

lubbock-sucks — Fri, 03 Apr 2026 16:46:12 +0000

Because life in the High Plains isn’t depressing enough, Clovis decided to host a party titled “Project Drunk,” which ended exactly how you’d expect a party named after a blackout to end. We finally have a second suspect in custody, Enrique Juarez Padilla, who was discovered playing the world’s saddest game of hide-and-seek in a [...]

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West Texas Family Values: Local Man Convicted for the Most ‘Lubbock’ Parenting Style Imaginable

lubbock-sucks — Wed, 01 Apr 2026 21:24:46 +0000

A Lubbock jury finally took a break from debating which Mexican food joint has the best watered-down salsa to find 42-year-old David Minor guilty of Aggravated Assault with a Deadly Weapon this week. The “deadly weapon” in question? A loaded gun he shoved into a child’s mouth. Because nothing says “Honor thy Father” quite like [...]

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Pot of Gold or Pit of Despair? Law Enforcement Gets Punny with “Operation Four-Leaf Felony”

lubbock-sucks — Tue, 31 Mar 2026 19:41:22 +0000

In a city where the most exciting thing that usually happens is a new Raising Cane’s opening or a dust storm turning the sky the color of a rusted Buick, our local law enforcement decided to get festive. On March 26, the Lubbock Police Department teamed up with—deep breath—the FBI, Homeland Security, DPS, the Sheriff’s [...]

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Clovis: Keeping Lubbock’s Trauma Surgeons Employed Since 1907

lubbock-sucks — Tue, 31 Mar 2026 18:28:23 +0000

Because life in the high plains apparently isn’t bleak enough, our neighbors over in Clovis decided to spice up a Monday morning with a casual mass shooting. On March 22, Clovis PD responded to reports of gunfire only to find six people who had been used for target practice near Grand and Calhoun. Among the [...]

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Lubbock Man Gets Three Years for Playing ‘Hide and Seek’ With Firearms

lubbock-sucks — Sat, 28 Mar 2026 14:17:04 +0000

In a city where the most exciting thing usually happens in a United Supermarkets parking lot, Jaime Flores decided to spice up a Tuesday night by turning 34th and Salem into a low-budget action movie. While a Lubbock County Deputy was just trying to do his job in an unmarked car—probably wondering if the Taco [...]

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Lubbock Logic: Where Getting Shot is Just a “Moderate” Inconvenience

lubbock-sucks — Wed, 25 Mar 2026 18:58:40 +0000

In today’s episode of East Side Dodgeball, Lubbock’s finest first responders were treated to a classic West Texas surprise. Lubbock Fire Rescue rolled up to the 2100 block of East 31st Street around 2:00 PM for what they thought was a routine medical call, only to find a guy with a fresh, unrequested ventilation hole [...]

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Lubbock Woman Pioneers New ‘Grapple and Glid’ Self-Defense Technique

lubbock-sucks — Wed, 25 Mar 2026 18:45:49 +0000

In today’s episode of Lubbock: The City Where Love is Definitely a Contact Sport, we have the heartwarming tale of 52-year-old Aleshia Banks. According to police reports, what started as a standard bedroom argument quickly escalated into a full-blown Olympic wrestling match. Why just use your words when you can use your hands, feet, and [...]

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Headline: Local “John Wick” With a BB Gun Discovers That Real Life Isn’t a Steven Seagal Movie

lubbock-sucks — Mon, 23 Mar 2026 13:26:36 +0000

Meet 36-year-old Seth Moore, Lubbock’s latest self-appointed vigilante and a man who clearly has a very loose definition of the word “firepower.” Back in December, Moore decided to play action hero in the 5000 block of 100th Street, rocking an ensemble that included a red jacket, black vest, and white glasses—because nothing says “stealthy investigation” [...]

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Another Early Morning in Paradise: 46th Street’s 2:00 AM Wake-Up Call

lubbock-sucks — Wed, 18 Mar 2026 12:45:29 +0000

Lubbock is really leaning into its “Hub City” nickname lately, specifically by acting as a high-traffic hub for the Major Crimes Unit. At the crisp, productive hour of 2:20 a.m. this Wednesday, dispatch received a call from the 2400 block of 46th Street. Apparently, someone decided that mid-week sleep was overrated and preferred to ring [...]

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Lubbock Road Rage: Because Nothing Says “I’m Right” Like a Bullet in the Trunk

lubbock-sucks — Mon, 16 Mar 2026 18:17:34 +0000

Lubbock has always been a place where “friendly conversation” is a gamble, but Alex Flores, 28, really upped the ante last week. Apparently, a verbal disagreement near 34th and Avenue P—the city’s premier destination for late-night intellectual discourse—wasn’t enough. Instead of walking away like a normal person, Flores and his merry band of buddies decided [...]

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The “AK Guy” is One Step Closer to Congress, Because Apparently, Our Standards Weren’t Low Enough

lubbock-sucks — Thu, 12 Mar 2026 13:10:43 +0000

In a plot twist that surprises absolutely no one who has survived more than a week in Texas politics, the ammosexual Brandon Herrera—better known to the internet as “The AK Guy”—has officially snagged the golden ticket: a Donald Trump endorsement. This comes right after the incumbent, Tony Gonzales, decided to vacate the seat for “personal [...]

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Local Man Replaces Santa’s Sleigh with a Stolen Sedan; Forgets Ring Cameras Exist

lubbock-sucks — Thu, 12 Mar 2026 12:52:17 +0000

Nothing says “Peace on Earth and Goodwill to Men” quite like pointing a pistol at your neighbors and demanding a lift. While the rest of us were nursing tamale-induced hangovers on Christmas night, 38-year-old Joshua Wood was out in the 4300 block of 29th Street, proving that the legendary “Lubbock Hospitality” is officially dead and [...]

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Lubbock’s Latest Home Renovation Trend: 63 Custom Bullet Holes and a Side of Meth

lubbock-sucks — Wed, 11 Mar 2026 12:58:20 +0000

If you’ve ever felt like your quiet evening at home was missing that certain je ne sais quoi, Nathan Herrera and his buddy are here to help. On March 1, the duo decided to treat the 1300 block of 65th Drive to a live-action remake of a Michael Bay film, minus the budget and the [...]

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Lubbock Man Learns the Hard Way That “Expired Tags” Are the Gateway Drug to Federal Prison

lubbock-sucks — Sat, 07 Mar 2026 16:52:05 +0000

In today’s episode of Lubbock’s Brightest Stars, 31-year-old Christopher Roy Prieto has been handed a two-year vacation in federal prison. Why? Because he decided that standard semi-automatic handguns were just too “low-energy” for the 806 and decided to spice them up with some illegal machine gun conversion switches. How did the feds catch this local [...]

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University Avenue: Where “Child Exchange” is Just a Suggestion for a Felony

lubbock-sucks — Mon, 16 Feb 2026 13:40:54 +0000

Because nothing says “healthy co-parenting” like a cocked pistol on University Avenue, 25-year-old Kaitlin Garcia has officially been indicted for Aggravated Assault with a Deadly Weapon. Apparently, a December child exchange in the 7300 block turned into a deleted scene from Sicario, proving once again that in Lubbock, “family time” is just another word for [...]

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Lubbock: Where Your Glock Can Be Anything If You Believe (And Have a Federal Indictment)

lubbock-sucks — Fri, 13 Feb 2026 17:14:39 +0000

Ah, Lubbock. The “Hub City.” The place where the wind blows 60 mph, the dirt is a permanent seasoning on your steak, and apparently, the local youth are treating their handguns like a DIY project from a very dark corner of Pinterest. Meet Adrian James Washington, III—a 20-year-old who clearly felt a standard .40 caliber [...]

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The ‘Jason’ Mask Stays On During the Accidental Lobotomy

lubbock-sucks — Thu, 12 Feb 2026 22:54:18 +0000

In a city where we can’t even seem to coordinate a four-way stop at a blinking red light, it should come as no surprise that our local criminal masterminds are struggling with the basic physics of “point the loud end away from your friends.” Last week, Jeremiah Guerrero and his soon-to-be-ex-best-friend decided to spice up [...]

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Local Teen Invents New ‘Customer Service’ Strategy: Home Invasions and Instagram Threats

lubbock-sucks — Thu, 12 Feb 2026 22:45:55 +0000

Well, Lubbock, it looks like our youth are finally taking initiative. Nicholas Malachi Vecchio, a 17-year-old who clearly skipped the “how to be a functioning member of society” seminar, was arrested Wednesday for a back-to-back crime spree that makes a chaotic Tuesday at a local Taco Bell look like a spa day. Last Saturday, Nicholas [...]

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