Public Health Archives | Lubbock Sucks

Silicon Prairie or Signs of the Apocalypse? Lubbock Freaks Out Over AI Data Centers

lubbock-sucks — Thu, 16 Jul 2026 16:40:12 +0000

Our visionary city leaders are desperate to turn the Hub City into a tech mecca, but the locals are already pulling out the pitchforks. The City of Lubbock recently launched an online survey and packed more than 500 furious residents into the Civic Center banquet hall for a public meeting to discuss large-scale data centers [...]

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West Texas Celebrates Barely Surviving Last Year’s Measles Outbreak By Making It Easier to Skip Vaccines

lubbock-sucks — Thu, 02 Jul 2026 19:14:01 +0000

After the historic 2025 West Texas measles outbreak—which managed to kill two school-age children and turn neighboring Gaines County into a literal viral epicenter—the state has released its vaccination data for the 2025-26 school year. The big news? Kindergarten measles vaccination rates in Texas skyrocketed by a breathtaking, monumental… 0.1%. Yes, we moved from 93.2% [...]

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Project Caprock is Bringing AI to Abernathy, Because What Our Power Grid Needed Was More Homework

lubbock-sucks — Thu, 02 Jul 2026 17:07:03 +0000

Just what the South Plains needed: more digital infrastructure to power the global supply of AI-generated slop while our actual, physical infrastructure hangs on by a thread. Aligned Data Centers has officially moved forward with “Project Caprock,” a massive $425 million data center campus spanning 313 acres just up the road off FM 54 in [...]

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Thinking Outside the Box: TTUHSC Solves Texas Healthcare Crisis by Shoving Patients into Shipping Containers

lubbock-sucks — Thu, 18 Jun 2026 17:13:29 +0000

Our very own Texas Tech University Health Sciences Center, in a brilliant joint venture with Texas A&M, has finally figured out how to fix the minor issue of forty Texas counties not having a single licensed primary care provider. The solution isn’t convincing doctors to live in the middle of nowhere or funding actual rural [...]

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Irony Wins Again: Shallowater Forced to Boil Tap Water After Contractor Plays Whack-A-Mole with Main Line

lubbock-sucks — Sun, 14 Jun 2026 12:28:27 +0000

Just when you thought living on the Hub City’s perimeter couldn’t get any more glamorous, our lovely neighbors over in Shallowater have been hit with a reality check. As of Saturday afternoon, June 13, the entire town has been placed under a Boil Water Notice because a local contractor apparently forgot how to read an [...]

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Welcome Our New Insect Overlords: West Nile Mosquitoes Officially Join the Party in Lubbock

lubbock-sucks — Tue, 09 Jun 2026 14:50:59 +0000

Just when you thought surviving two solid weeks of non-stop daily rain and the sudden resurgence of flesh-eating screwworms was enough to earn us a break from Mother Nature, Lubbock’s thriving insect population has decided to raise the stakes. The Biological Threat Research Lab at Texas Tech University—which sounds like a top-secret facility handling zombie [...]

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Covenant Hospital’s Elite Diagnostic Team Takes Four Days to Realize a Stroking Teenager Isn’t Just High

lubbock-sucks — Sat, 16 May 2026 18:34:12 +0000

Welcome to Lubbock, where if a 17-year-old athlete collapses and starts vomiting profusely, our premier local medical minds at Covenant automatically assume he’s just on a wicked teenage bender. Britton Voss, a high school junior and baseball pitcher, suffered a literal stroke last Saturday. But instead of getting immediate, life-saving imaging, he spent four whole [...]

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Texas Medical Board Decides ‘Death’ is Just a Teachable Moment (With a Very Short Quiz)

lubbock-sucks — Sat, 18 Apr 2026 15:08:56 +0000

Welcome to Texas, the only state where “standard of care” has been replaced by “consulting a lawyer while the patient bleeds out.” The Texas Medical Board has finally broken its silence on the deaths of Nevaeh Crain and Porsha Ngumezi, and their solution is exactly what you’d expect from a state that considers a 99-year [...]

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Shallowater: Come for the Small-Town Charm, Stay for the Radioactive Kidney Failure

lubbock-sucks — Fri, 03 Apr 2026 17:26:00 +0000

Our neighbors in Shallowater just got some glowing news from the Texas Commission on Environmental Quality. It turns out the local tap water has officially surpassed the EPA’s “try not to grow a third arm” limit for combined uranium. While the feds suggest 30 micrograms per liter is the maximum acceptable amount for human survival, [...]

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East Lubbock Hospitality: Now Featuring Free Dental Exams (From Stray Dogs)

lubbock-sucks — Fri, 03 Apr 2026 16:51:35 +0000

Nothing says “Good morning, Hub City” quite like an 8:00 AM cardio session involving a pack of aggressive dogs. On Thursday morning, an elderly woman in the 2400 block of East 8th Street found out the hard way that in Lubbock, the sidewalks aren’t just for walking—they’re a buffet line for neighborhood hounds whose owners [...]

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Lubbock’s “Cicada” Strategy: If We Don’t Test the Poop, the Virus Doesn’t Exist

lubbock-sucks — Fri, 27 Mar 2026 18:18:38 +0000

The CDC is sounding the alarm on yet another variant, BA.3.2, nicknamed “Cicada.” While the CDC is just trying to make sure we’re aware this thing is making the rounds, Lubbock is handling the news with its trademark “if I can’t see it, it’s not there” energy. Local health officials claim there’s “no record” of [...]

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Texas Tech Physicians and UnitedHealthcare Embark on Multi-Million Dollar Game of Chicken with Your Health

lubbock-sucks — Mon, 23 Mar 2026 14:50:24 +0000

In a move that surprises absolutely no one who has ever tried to navigate the bureaucratic hellscape of West Texas medicine, Texas Tech Physicians (TTP) has decided to dump UnitedHealthcare like a bad habit. Apparently, the two corporate giants have been “negotiating” since early 2025, which is professional speak for “screaming into the void while [...]

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Let Them Eat Kale: Texas Solves Poverty by Banning Snickers Bars

lubbock-sucks — Wed, 18 Mar 2026 12:40:36 +0000

Because living in Lubbock wasn’t already enough of a thrill, Governor Abbott and his band of merry nutritionists have decided to turn your local Allsup’s checkout line into a high-stakes chemistry exam. Starting April 1, Senate Bill 379 officially bans the use of SNAP benefits for “sweetened beverages and candy.” That’s right—Texas is “leading the [...]

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Lubbock: Finally a “Blue” Stronghold (But Only on the COVID Maps)

lubbock-sucks — Mon, 16 Mar 2026 18:22:08 +0000

Well, look at us. While the rest of the South Plains looks like a ghost town on the Texas Department of State Health Services’ latest Respiratory Virus Surveillance Report, Lubbock is out here shining—literally. We are currently a deep, dark blue square on the map for Week 9 of 2026, which is a hilarious irony [...]

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Lubbock: Where Your Paycheck is Fat, but Your Soul is Flat

lubbock-sucks — Wed, 11 Mar 2026 19:21:13 +0000

Oh, joy. Another “study” has come out to tell us what we already feel every time we look at a horizon that hasn’t changed since the Mesozoic era. WalletHub just dropped its happiness rankings, and our beloved Hub City managed to snag a glorious #135 out of 182. That’s right—we are officially in the bottom [...]

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The “Zombie Movie” Prequel Nobody Asked For: Lubbock’s Floating Goose Buffet

lubbock-sucks — Fri, 27 Feb 2026 16:52:44 +0000

According to local rock station FMX, Lubbock has spent the last few months auditioning for the lead role in a low-budget horror flick. Thousands of geese have been dropping dead across the Hub City, creating a scenic landscape of rotting feathers and “uncomfortable conversations.” While city crews have been busy playing a high-stakes game of [...]

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Lubbock Public Health to City: “Don’t Worry, It’s Just a Little Measles”

lubbock-sucks — Fri, 27 Feb 2026 16:27:32 +0000

Good news, everyone! Lubbock’s Public Health department officially has “no concern” about community spread following a confirmed case of the measles. Apparently, we’ve reached a level of local zen where a highly contagious, once-eradicated virus is just another Tuesday in the Hub City. The lucky winner of this year’s first “Traveler’s Toxin” award was an [...]

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Groundbreaking Discovery: Dust is Bad for You, Actually

lubbock-sucks — Wed, 25 Feb 2026 17:52:02 +0000

In a stunning turn of events that surely shocked exactly zero people who have ever stepped foot outside in the 806, a local doctor is officially advising Lubbockites that breathing in a face-full of dirt is—get this—suboptimal for your health. After the most recent haboob turned our afternoon sky into a scene from Interstellar, Dr. [...]

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Victory Lap Canceled: Measles Decides Lubbock is Too Cozy to Leave

lubbock-sucks — Tue, 24 Feb 2026 20:38:15 +0000

Well, that was a fun three weeks of pretending we lived in the 21st century, wasn’t it? Less than a month after our local leaders basically threw a “Mission Accomplished” banner over Broadway to celebrate defeating the measles, the virus has officially pulled a classic Lubbock U-turn. The Lubbock Public Health Department confirmed today that [...]

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Drive 60 Miles or Die Trying: The West Texas Rural Healthcare Hunger Games

lubbock-sucks — Tue, 24 Feb 2026 14:52:18 +0000

Well, pack your bags and grab a roadside burrito, because if you live in Floyd or Lynn County, your healthcare plan is basically a scenic commute to Lubbock. According to the latest reports, Texas leads the nation in rural hospitals—mostly because we have so much empty space to put them in—but we’re also leading the [...]

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Lubbock Logic: Why Dying for ‘Freedom’ is the Ultimate 806 Power Move

lubbock-sucks — Mon, 23 Feb 2026 15:30:57 +0000

In a move that will surely shock the three people in this city who actually use their blinkers, local media is once again trying to convince us that seat belts—those pesky polyester death-traps—might actually keep you from flying through your windshield like a human cannonball. Apparently, “because my grandpappy survived the 70s without one” isn’t [...]

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Texas Tech Med: Where Doctors Learn Everything (Except the Stuff That Makes Mark Lee Dickson Sad)

lubbock-sucks — Wed, 18 Feb 2026 18:16:10 +0000

In today’s edition of “Lubbock: The Hub City of Fragile Sensibilities,” Texas Tech University Health Sciences Center has decided that medical education is great and all, but it’s really not worth the hassle of a Facebook notification. The school officially pulled the plug on a talk by Dr. Shelley Sella, an OB-GYN who was set [...]

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The Brick Trailer Park: An Autopsy of the Hub City’s Soul

lubbock-sucks — Mon, 09 Feb 2026 22:04:48 +0000

If you have ever driven down Slide Road at 5:15 PM, dodging a lifted Ford F-250 that is currently occupying two lanes while emitting a cloud of unburnt diesel particulate that would make a Victorian chimney sweep cough, you have experienced the essence of Lubbock, Texas. We like to pretend we are a “metropolitan” area. [...]

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Only a Few Hours From Lubbock: The Tent-City Concentration Camps You’re Paying For

lubbock-sucks — Mon, 09 Feb 2026 14:05:27 +0000

If you thought the “Hub City” was isolated, take a five-hour drive down to El Paso. There, the federal government has traded West Texas hospitality for a sprawling, 5,000-bed tent city at Fort Bliss that’s giving some serious “internment chic”. While we’re busy arguing over school board seats, the feds are running Camp East Montana—a [...]

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Breathe Deep, Raiders: Tech’s Vents Are Growing a Science Experiment You Didn’t Sign Up For

lubbock-sucks — Mon, 09 Feb 2026 13:33:23 +0000

Texas Tech has finally found a way to make its aging infrastructure interactive. According to a recent deep-dive by The Hub@TTU, students in several campus buildings—most notably the College of Media & Communication—have noticed that the air they’re breathing comes with a side of “mystery fuzz.” Apparently, the HVAC systems are doubling as petri dishes, [...]

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The Water Treatment Plant: Now Serving Goose Gravy?

lubbock-sucks — Tue, 03 Feb 2026 22:34:05 +0000

In a move that’s definitely not a scene from a low-budget horror movie, the City of Lubbock sent crews out to the North Water Treatment Plant this week to play a high-stakes game of “Scoop the Carcass”. City personnel and Canadian River Water Municipal Authority workers were spotted using heavy construction equipment to scrape up [...]

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Tech Health Sciences Center Discovers “Open Inquiry” Is Bad for the Brand (And the Budget)

lubbock-sucks — Mon, 02 Feb 2026 18:30:56 +0000

In a shocking display of spine-strength usually reserved for overcooked spaghetti, the Texas Tech University Health Sciences Center (TTUHSC) decided that hearing a retired doctor talk about medical care was simply “not in the best interest” of the university. Dr. Shelley Sella, a pioneer in third-trimester abortion care, was scheduled to speak last Monday until [...]

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Geese Are Falling From the Sky, but Don’t Worry—The City Posted on Facebook Two Weeks Ago

lubbock-sucks — Mon, 26 Jan 2026 15:35:06 +0000

Apparently, Lubbock has entered its Bird Flu, But Make It Vague era. While sick geese are literally dropping out of the sky at local playa lakes, the City of Lubbock Public Health Department has kept public communication to a minimum. Aside from a Facebook post on January 13, official updates have been about as visible [...]

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We Beat Measles (Briefly): Lubbock Declares Victory, Virus Keeps Its Bags Packed

lubbock-sucks — Wed, 21 Jan 2026 16:26:25 +0000

A year after measles tore through Texas—starting right here in West Texas—the Lubbock Health Department says the outbreak is officially over. It wrapped up in August 2025 after just under 800 cases, 99 hospitalizations, and two children lost. Yes, that’s “just a rash,” if your definition of rash includes encephalitis, hospital stays, and funerals. Health [...]

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Central Lubbock Declares War on Birds, Immediately Loses Ground

lubbock-sucks — Sat, 17 Jan 2026 14:31:32 +0000

A Central Lubbock business owner has discovered that her biggest obstacle to running a salon isn’t rent, staffing, or inflation—it’s thousands of grackles using the sidewalk as a communal restroom. Holli Baker, owner of The Socialite Salon, says the birds have been coating the area near University Avenue in droppings, creating a mess that’s equal [...]

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Lubbock Discovers New Hobby: Touching Diseased Geese Anyway

lubbock-sucks — Sat, 17 Jan 2026 14:10:07 +0000

If you’ve noticed an alarming number of birds around Lubbock acting like they just lost a fight with gravity—and then losing the fight with life—that’s not your imagination. The South Plains Wildlife Rehabilitation Center says they’re seeing a major spike in sick and dead birds across town, and avian flu is the likely culprit. We’re [...]

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Level Up Like King, Catch the Bird Flu Like a Goose: Lubbock’s Public Health Priorities at Work

lubbock-sucks — Thu, 08 Jan 2026 17:34:23 +0000

While Canadian geese are apparently auditioning for Contagion: South Plains Edition in our parks, the City of Lubbock Public Health Department has decided now is the perfect time to promote… a youth MLK Day empowerment event. Yes, avian influenza has been confirmed locally, and yes, geese showing symptoms are now just being presumed positive. But [...]

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VA Discovers Maps Exist, Immediately Ignores Them

lubbock-sucks — Thu, 08 Jan 2026 17:11:41 +0000

Thousands of West Texas veterans may soon find that “aging in place” now comes with a mandatory road trip—because the VA just slashed reimbursement rates for rural home health care providers by a casual 43% across 247 Texas counties. This new rate structure kicked in this month and is part of a statewide “standardization” effort, [...]

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Flu Season Is Back, And Lubbock Is Shocked That Crowded Rooms Spread Germs

lubbock-sucks — Thu, 08 Jan 2026 17:11:11 +0000

It’s winter in Lubbock, which means three things: the air hurts your face, everyone’s “just got allergies,” and flu cases are climbing like rent prices. According to the CDC, this flu season has already racked up 11 million illnesses, 120,000 hospitalizations, and 5,000 deaths nationwide. But don’t worry—we’re just now noticing because someone on Facebook [...]

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Anthrax Is Back, Y’all: Briscoe County Rings in 2026 With a Quarantine and a Dead Steer

lubbock-sucks — Wed, 07 Jan 2026 15:39:11 +0000

Just when you thought the Panhandle couldn’t get more festive, regulators confirmed anthrax in a steer up in Briscoe County, a few miles north of Silverton. The case popped up December 31, because apparently even livestock wanted to end the year on a high note. The property is now quarantined, the carcass must be disposed [...]

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Cod Liver Oil vs. Reality: How West Texas Helped Bring Measles Back Like It’s 1958

lubbock-sucks — Wed, 17 Dec 2025 13:16:11 +0000

In case you missed it, West Texas just starred in the nation’s largest measles outbreak in more than 35 years, and yes, it happened right here in our extended neighborhood. Centered in Seminole, the outbreak sickened at least 762 Texans, hospitalized nearly 100 people, spread to other states and countries, and killed two children. Health [...]

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Brownfield Explains Bird Flu Like Grownups, While Lubbock Still Pretends Geese Are a Vibe

lubbock-sucks — Tue, 16 Dec 2025 22:39:08 +0000

Over in Brownfield—yes, that Brownfield—the city noticed something unusual: sick geese. Instead of shrugging and waiting for Facebook comments to spiral into conspiracy theories, city officials posted a clear, calm, and actually useful explanation of what’s going on with avian flu in the area. They explained that bird flu is highly contagious among birds, that [...]

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Birds Are Literally Dying in Lubbock Parks, but Don’t Worry—The City’s Busy Posting About Whooping Cough

lubbock-sucks — Tue, 16 Dec 2025 16:34:20 +0000

While residents are flooding Facebook with reports of geese twitching, spinning, and dying en masse at David Casey Park, Dupree Park, Patterson Park, and even in their own front yards, the City of Lubbock Health Department has opted for radio silence—at least on the bird situation. Multiple witnesses describe scenes straight out of a low-budget [...]

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Lubbock Discovers Vaccines Again—This Time for Dogs

lubbock-sucks — Sat, 13 Dec 2025 15:10:40 +0000

Lubbock Animal Services says it’s seeing a noticeable rise in upper respiratory symptoms in dogs around town and at the shelter. You know the drill: coughing, yellow or green gunk coming out of eyes and noses, lethargy, irritated eyes, and—just to keep things spicy—neurological symptoms and seizures. Fun stuff. Their advice is simple: keep your [...]

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City to Lubbock: Maybe Don’t Pick Up the Diseased Birds, Y’all

lubbock-sucks — Sat, 06 Dec 2025 15:48:17 +0000

Well, after four visibly flu-ridden geese waddled into town earlier this week like extras from Contagion, the Lubbock Health Department has finally taken decisive action: issuing a sternly worded press release telling people not to touch the dying birds. Groundbreaking stuff. Apparently, a nationwide outbreak of H5N1 is working its way through wild birds, and [...]

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Texas Spreads Measles and Excuses Even Faster

lubbock-sucks — Fri, 05 Dec 2025 15:49:23 +0000

Well, congratulations, America: thanks to the ongoing measles mess kicked off right here in West Texas, we’re about to lose our “measles-free” merit badge—something we earned with decades of hard work, vaccines, and functioning public health policy. But who needs all that when you can have 762 cases, 99 hospitalizations, and a $12.6 million price [...]

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Bird Flu Hits Lubbock: Even the Geese Are Tired of This Place

lubbock-sucks — Tue, 02 Dec 2025 17:27:20 +0000

In a plot twist no one asked for, the South Plains Wildlife Rehabilitation Center announced that four geese showed up yesterday, one after another, all flashing the unmistakable signs of avian flu. Yes, that’s right — even our waterfowl are circling, staggering, and acting disoriented, which frankly just makes them blend in with most weekend [...]

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Texas Reclaims Its Title as the Whooping Cough Capital — Because Vaccines Are “Optional,” Apparently

lubbock-sucks — Tue, 11 Nov 2025 13:56:25 +0000

Whooping cough is back in Texas, and it’s not just making a little comeback — it’s quadrupled since last year and hit an 11-year high. The state’s up to 3,500 cases and counting, and health experts are basically waving red flags while Texans shrug and cough into each other’s faces. But sure, keep telling yourself [...]

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West Texas Measles Outbreak: Congratulations, We’re Partying Like It’s 1991

lubbock-sucks — Fri, 03 Oct 2025 13:56:34 +0000

Turns out, when you stop vaccinating kids because Facebook memes told you so, the 1800s come back to life—this time with Wi-Fi. New county-level data shows vaccination rates have slipped across most of the U.S., and measles, the disease we literally eliminated in 2000, is strutting around again like it owns the place. In Gaines [...]

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Welcome to Lubbock, Where Even the Bats Want You Dead

lubbock-sucks — Mon, 29 Sep 2025 20:11:54 +0000

Lubbock officials are waving a big red flag after several rabid bats were found around town. The advice is pretty simple: don’t touch the flying bags of teeth and disease. Seems obvious, but apparently we needed the PSA. Steven Green from Lubbock Animal Services reminded everyone that even a bat that looks cute, harmless, or [...]

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Market Street Shooter Blames COVID, Gets Probation Instead of Prison

lubbock-sucks — Mon, 22 Sep 2025 19:13:58 +0000

Robert Joseph Baker, 39, shot and killed a stranger outside the Market Street at 19th and Quaker in 2020, fired off more rounds at a gas station, then shot his own car at Covenant before trying to check himself in for COVID-19 symptoms. His lawyer later argued he was hallucinating from hypoxia brought on by [...]

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Trump’s CDC Silence Turned a Texas Measles Outbreak Into a Disaster

lubbock-sucks — Mon, 25 Aug 2025 10:00:46 +0000

When measles cases started popping up in Lubbock in early 2025, local health officials did what they’ve always done: called the CDC for guidance. Except this time, no one picked up. Under Trump, the CDC had been muzzled, gutted, and shoved into a corner, leaving Texas health workers in the dark as the worst measles [...]

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West Texas Measles Outbreak Officially Declared Over

lubbock-sucks — Mon, 18 Aug 2025 16:16:10 +0000

After months of chaos, hospitalizations, and heartbreak, the Texas Department of State Health Services (DSHS) has declared the worst U.S. measles outbreak in 30 years officially over. The state made the call after 42 days without a new reported case. The outbreak began in Seminole back in January and spread like wildfire — across more [...]

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Texas Vaccine Exemptions Soar as Schools, Nurses, and Public Health Programs Struggle

lubbock-sucks — Mon, 18 Aug 2025 10:00:47 +0000

Texas schools are heading into the new year with record-high vaccine exemption requests and a law that just made skipping shots easier. In July alone, the state received 17,197 exemption requests—a 36% jump from the year before. Because each form can cover up to eight kids, that translates into more than 30,000 children potentially unprotected [...]

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Daycares in Lubbock Swap Finger Paint for Hand, Foot, and Mouth

lubbock-sucks — Tue, 05 Aug 2025 14:24:48 +0000

Lubbock Public Health announced that several local daycares are now serving up Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease (HFMD) alongside snack time. The highly contagious virus has been making the rounds, turning playdates into petri dishes. There’s no vaccine and no magic cure, but the CDC says it usually burns out in about a week. Translation: [...]

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