In a plot twist no one asked for, the South Plains Wildlife Rehabilitation Center announced that four geese showed up yesterday, one after another, all flashing the unmistakable signs of avian flu. Yes, that’s right — even our waterfowl are circling, staggering, and acting disoriented, which frankly just makes them blend in with most weekend behavior on 50th Street.
Because this virus is highly contagious and can be transmitted to humans, SPWRC is begging Lubbock residents to do something that apparently requires boldface, emojis, and a flashing siren: stop picking up sick birds with your bare hands. If you must handle wildlife — and let’s be honest, you do not — they recommend gloves, masks, distance, and none of your usual “I saw a critter so now it’s my emotional support pet” energy.
Symptoms include tremors, head tilt, weakness, not flying away, and “acting unusually tame,” which again, is just Lubbock for “it gave up.” There’s no cure, most birds die within a day or two, and the center has temporarily closed its 24/7 drop-off because apparently the flood of plague birds is a bit much even for a facility used to nursing electrocuted squirrels and traumatized possums back to life.
For now, if you find a goose doing the avian equivalent of a Windows blue screen, call ahead before showing up. Or better yet, maybe just… don’t. Because the wildlife rehab folks are already working overtime saving everything from baby bunnies to God-knows-what people drag in after a night at Buffalo Springs Lake.
At this point, between the water crisis, the dirt storms, and now bird flu, are we sure the geese aren’t just trying to tell us something?