Crime
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Manslaughter? More Like ‘Man-Slight-Inconvenience’ Until You Forget to Call Your PO
Lubbock: where the wind blows 40 mph, the water tastes like a swimming pool filter, and killing your friend in a drunken wreck apparently earns you a decade of “pretty please don’t do it again.” Zachary Peterson, the man who managed to dodge a prison cell after a fatal 2021 crash, is back behind bars [...]Read More... from Manslaughter? More Like ‘Man-Slight-Inconvenience’ Until You Forget to Call Your PO
The “Executive” Lifestyle: Avenue Q’s Finest Hospitality Ends in SWAT Semi-Finals
Lubbock’s Avenue Q remains the undisputed champion of “exactly what you expected to happen.” On Wednesday night, the Texas DPS and a SWAT team decided to check in at the Executive Inn—a name that, much like “Lubbock is a vacation destination,” is doing a lot of heavy lifting. It turns out the “executives” in question [...]Read More... from The “Executive” Lifestyle: Avenue Q’s Finest Hospitality Ends in SWAT Semi-Finals
Lubbock Love Language: Ramming, Shooting, and a Mid-Crime Power Nap
Welcome back to another episode of “Why We Can’t Have Nice Things in the 806.” Today’s contestant for Mother of the Year is 22-year-old Cysili Quintanilla, who decided that a night out at Santiago’s wasn’t complete without a high-stakes demolition derby and a light dusting of gunfire. According to court docs, the festivities kicked off [...]Read More... from Lubbock Love Language: Ramming, Shooting, and a Mid-Crime Power Nap
Politics
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Texas GOP Discovers “Actions Have Consequences,” Promptly Melts Down
In a move that surprised absolutely no one who has ever played a game of “fuck around and find out,” Texas Republicans are currently reeling after their brilliant plan to rig the federal map mid-decade blew up in their faces. Last summer, our state’s leadership decided to do Donald Trump a solid by redrawing congressional [...]Read More... from Texas GOP Discovers “Actions Have Consequences,” Promptly Melts Down
Ken Paxton Attacks the Real Enemy of Democracy: Your Unused Visa Gift Cards
Our favorite legal eagle and part-time hobbyist Attorney General, Ken Paxton, is back at it again. This time, he’s filed a lawsuit against ActBlue, the fundraising powerhouse for Democrats, because apparently, the biggest threat to the Lone Star State isn’t the crumbling infrastructure or the fact that it’s 105 degrees in April—it’s people donating to [...]Read More... from Ken Paxton Attacks the Real Enemy of Democracy: Your Unused Visa Gift Cards
Local Man Writes Laws, Hires Self to Enforce Them, Claims He’s Saving the ‘Tech Brand’ from Reality
In the most “Lubbock” move since the last time we paved a road only to dig it up a week later, Texas Tech Chancellor Brandon Creighton is doing a victory lap for a problem he personally manufactured. For those keeping track of the grift, Creighton spent his time in the State Senate writing the very [...]Read More... from Local Man Writes Laws, Hires Self to Enforce Them, Claims He’s Saving the ‘Tech Brand’ from Reality
Guns
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The “Executive” Lifestyle: Avenue Q’s Finest Hospitality Ends in SWAT Semi-Finals
Lubbock’s Avenue Q remains the undisputed champion of “exactly what you expected to happen.” On Wednesday night, the Texas DPS and a SWAT team decided to check in at the Executive Inn—a name that, much like “Lubbock is a vacation destination,” is doing a lot of heavy lifting. It turns out the “executives” in question [...]Read More... from The “Executive” Lifestyle: Avenue Q’s Finest Hospitality Ends in SWAT Semi-Finals
Lubbock Love Language: Ramming, Shooting, and a Mid-Crime Power Nap
Welcome back to another episode of “Why We Can’t Have Nice Things in the 806.” Today’s contestant for Mother of the Year is 22-year-old Cysili Quintanilla, who decided that a night out at Santiago’s wasn’t complete without a high-stakes demolition derby and a light dusting of gunfire. According to court docs, the festivities kicked off [...]Read More... from Lubbock Love Language: Ramming, Shooting, and a Mid-Crime Power Nap
Lubbock’s Latest Family Reunion Ends with a Self-Reported Murder Warrant
In a city where the most exciting thing to do on a Wednesday night is usually complaining about the dust or wondering why the line at Raising Cane’s is three miles long, the residents of 126th Street decided to spice things up. Around 7:20 p.m., while most of us were settling into our evening routine [...]Read More... from Lubbock’s Latest Family Reunion Ends with a Self-Reported Murder Warrant
Public Health
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Texas Medical Board Decides ‘Death’ is Just a Teachable Moment (With a Very Short Quiz)
Welcome to Texas, the only state where “standard of care” has been replaced by “consulting a lawyer while the patient bleeds out.” The Texas Medical Board has finally broken its silence on the deaths of Nevaeh Crain and Porsha Ngumezi, and their solution is exactly what you’d expect from a state that considers a 99-year [...]Read More... from Texas Medical Board Decides ‘Death’ is Just a Teachable Moment (With a Very Short Quiz)
Shallowater: Come for the Small-Town Charm, Stay for the Radioactive Kidney Failure
Our neighbors in Shallowater just got some glowing news from the Texas Commission on Environmental Quality. It turns out the local tap water has officially surpassed the EPA’s “try not to grow a third arm” limit for combined uranium. While the feds suggest 30 micrograms per liter is the maximum acceptable amount for human survival, [...]Read More... from Shallowater: Come for the Small-Town Charm, Stay for the Radioactive Kidney Failure
East Lubbock Hospitality: Now Featuring Free Dental Exams (From Stray Dogs)
Nothing says “Good morning, Hub City” quite like an 8:00 AM cardio session involving a pack of aggressive dogs. On Thursday morning, an elderly woman in the 2400 block of East 8th Street found out the hard way that in Lubbock, the sidewalks aren’t just for walking—they’re a buffet line for neighborhood hounds whose owners [...]Read More... from East Lubbock Hospitality: Now Featuring Free Dental Exams (From Stray Dogs)
Education
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From Ponzi to Ph.D.: Texas Tech Buys Convicted Fraudster’s Mansion for Chancellor
Because living in a regular house is apparently beneath the dignity of someone “leading” our beloved institution, the Texas Tech University System just dropped a few million on a new official residence. And in a move that surprises absolutely nobody who has spent more than five minutes in this dust bowl, they bought it from [...]Read More... from From Ponzi to Ph.D.: Texas Tech Buys Convicted Fraudster’s Mansion for Chancellor
Texas Discovers the Secret to Better Education: Giving Your Tax Dollars to Private Schools
The Texas Comptroller just started mailing out the educational equivalent of Willy Wonka’s Golden Tickets, and Governor Abbott is already taking a victory lap like he just solved literacy. Around 42,600 kids in the “first priority tier” are being awarded Texas Education Freedom Accounts, which is a fancy, focus-grouped way of saying the state is [...]Read More... from Texas Discovers the Secret to Better Education: Giving Your Tax Dollars to Private Schools
Tech Leisure Pool Stays Dry: A Masterclass in Paying for Things You Can’t Use
Just when you thought you might actually escape the West Texas heat without developing a permanent layer of grit on your skin, Texas Tech has some “great” news. The Leisure Pool—that glorious oasis of student fees and questionable tan lines—is keeping its gates locked. It was supposed to open mid-April, but apparently, “maintenance” is the [...]Read More... from Tech Leisure Pool Stays Dry: A Masterclass in Paying for Things You Can’t Use
Local Government
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City Hall Learns to Read: Gary Boren Sues His Way Onto the Ballot
Lubbock is currently embroiled in its favorite pastime: a legal slap-fight over things that should be simple. Gary Boren wanted to run for the District 4 seat, but City Hall tried to kick him to the curb because he’s only lived in the district for two months. Apparently, the City Secretary thinks you need to [...]Read More... from City Hall Learns to Read: Gary Boren Sues His Way Onto the Ballot
Ernest Butler Park: Lubbock’s Premier Destination for Tetanus and Loneliness
If you’ve ever wanted your child to experience the existential dread of being the only kid with a swing in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, head over to Ernest Butler Park on the East Side. It’s a local landmark, mostly because it currently looks like the set of a low-budget movie about a society that forgot how [...]Read More... from Ernest Butler Park: Lubbock’s Premier Destination for Tetanus and Loneliness
Texas Water Board Asks for ‘Public Input’ on Our Impending $174 Billion Dust Bowl 2.0
The Texas Water Development Board (TWDB) just dropped the draft for its 2027 State Water Plan, and the news is about as refreshing as a mouthful of haboob dust. To avoid a total state-wide “Mad Max” scenario over the next 50 years, the state claims it needs a cool $174 billion. That’s more than double [...]Read More... from Texas Water Board Asks for ‘Public Input’ on Our Impending $174 Billion Dust Bowl 2.0
Economics
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Permian Basin ‘Entrepreneurs’ Discover That Stolen Oil Still Comes With Free Federal Room and Board
In a city where the most exciting news is usually a new car wash opening or a particularly aggressive dust storm, we finally have some “disruptors” in the local economy. Fourteen absolute visionaries from Texas and New Mexico were just indicted for running what can only be described as a five-finger discount program for crude [...]Read More... from Permian Basin ‘Entrepreneurs’ Discover That Stolen Oil Still Comes With Free Federal Room and Board
George Strait is Coming to Save Our Sinking Economy (And Drink Every Last Coors Light in the County)
Lubbock is currently in the middle of a collective nervous breakdown because King George is descending upon Jones AT&T Stadium this weekend. According to the geniuses at the Lubbock Economic Development Alliance (LEDA), we are officially “sold out,” which is a terrifying phrase usually reserved for concert tickets but, in this case, applies to our [...]Read More... from George Strait is Coming to Save Our Sinking Economy (And Drink Every Last Coors Light in the County)
Ted Cruz Saves West Texas From the Imminent Threat of Having Too Much Nature
Our favorite part-time resident and full-time soundbite machine, Ted Cruz, is back to save us from the terrifying prospect of… birds. Ted is championing a law to ensure the Muleshoe Wildlife Refuge never expands, because nothing says “Texas Freedom” like making sure 700,000 acres of dirt stay exactly as dusty and unproductive as God intended. [...]Read More... from Ted Cruz Saves West Texas From the Imminent Threat of Having Too Much Nature
Police
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Tuesday Night Fever: Local Legend Tries (and Fails) to Outrun the State’s Finest
Nothing says “Tuesday in the Hub City” like a casual high-speed chase through the scenic industrial vistas of North Lubbock. Around 8:30 p.m., while most of us were contemplating which fast-food drive-thru had the shortest line, 21-year-old Anthony Carlos De Le Cerda decided to spice things up by turning a routine traffic stop at North [...]Read More... from Tuesday Night Fever: Local Legend Tries (and Fails) to Outrun the State’s Finest
The King is Coming, so the Cavalry is Here to Make Sure You Don’t Die Before the Encore
Because apparently, Lubbock drivers are so collectively incapable of navigating a paved road without causing a catastrophe, the Texas Department of Public Safety has launched a covert “surge” operation. Dubbed “Operation Tejas”—which sounds like a Steven Seagal movie that went straight to DVD—this initiative involves busing in troopers to babysit our local officers (why do [...]Read More... from The King is Coming, so the Cavalry is Here to Make Sure You Don’t Die Before the Encore
Local GTA Enthusiast Trades 120 MPH Thrills for 15 Years of Federal Boredom
Welcome to Lubbock, where the wind blows at 50 mph and our criminals drive at 120. Jeremiah Daniel Rossette, a 29-year-old who apparently mistook Highway 84 for a closed course in Need for Speed, just entered a federal guilty plea for a January 2025 carjacking that was essentially a one-man parade of bad decisions. The [...]Read More... from Local GTA Enthusiast Trades 120 MPH Thrills for 15 Years of Federal Boredom