Crime
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Family Values: Justin Aleman Gets the ‘Lubbock Discount’ on a Double Homicide
Ah, Mackenzie Park. The crown jewel of Lubbock where you can enjoy a picnic, watch the prairie dogs develop plague, or, apparently, get executed by your own nephew. In a move that surprised absolutely no one who has ever sat through a Lubbock County court proceeding, Justin Aleman officially traded his trial date for a [...]Read More... from Family Values: Justin Aleman Gets the ‘Lubbock Discount’ on a Double Homicide
Shallowater Band Director Moves Up from Local Creep to Federal Felon
Just when you thought Shallowater’s reputation for “family values” couldn’t get any more tarnished, Joseph Macaulay Gonzalez has managed to level up. Our favorite 27-year-old former assistant band director isn’t just a local disappointment anymore; he’s now officially a federal problem. On April 8, a grand jury decided that his extracurricular activities deserved more than [...]Read More... from Shallowater Band Director Moves Up from Local Creep to Federal Felon
The Hub City’s Favorite Game: Jurisdictional Hot Potato (feat. A 3/4-Ton Truck)
Welcome to Lubbock, where the only thing flatter than the landscape is the police department’s transparency. We’ve got another tragic “oopsie” on our hands, this time at the corner of Texas Tech Parkway and Indiana Avenue. On Saturday night, Jordyn Dabelstein—a 22-year-old nursing student who actually had a promising future elsewhere—was sitting at a red [...]Read More... from The Hub City’s Favorite Game: Jurisdictional Hot Potato (feat. A 3/4-Ton Truck)
Politics
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Texas Tech Achieves Peak Innovation by Deleting Decades of Social Progress with a Bot
Chancellor Brandon Creighton (our favorite former state lawmaker turned academic overlord) has finally solved the biggest crisis facing West Texas: the existence of Women’s and Gender Studies. In a memo that screams “I didn’t actually enjoy my elective credits,” Creighton ordered the Texas Tech System to phase out any program “centered on” sexual orientation or [...]Read More... from Texas Tech Achieves Peak Innovation by Deleting Decades of Social Progress with a Bot
Texas AG Candidates Compete to See Who Can Send Us Back to 1950 the Fastest
Our potential future Attorneys General, Chip Roy and Mayes Middleton, recently held a “Who Can Be More Like Ken Paxton” contest in Tyler. Apparently, they’re bored with just suing the feds a hundred times a year and have decided to start a legal garage sale where they try to toss out every Supreme Court ruling [...]Read More... from Texas AG Candidates Compete to See Who Can Send Us Back to 1950 the Fastest
Panic in Austin: Dan Patrick Realizes Screaming About Vouchers Won’t Save the GOP from Itself
Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick—a man who usually spends his days finding new and creative ways to make librarians cry—has suddenly looked at a calendar and realized that November is coming. While speaking at a policy summit in Austin (the city he claims to hate but can’t seem to leave), Patrick admitted that Republicans might actually [...]Read More... from Panic in Austin: Dan Patrick Realizes Screaming About Vouchers Won’t Save the GOP from Itself
Guns
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Family Values: Justin Aleman Gets the ‘Lubbock Discount’ on a Double Homicide
Ah, Mackenzie Park. The crown jewel of Lubbock where you can enjoy a picnic, watch the prairie dogs develop plague, or, apparently, get executed by your own nephew. In a move that surprised absolutely no one who has ever sat through a Lubbock County court proceeding, Justin Aleman officially traded his trial date for a [...]Read More... from Family Values: Justin Aleman Gets the ‘Lubbock Discount’ on a Double Homicide
Ave Q: Where a Flat Tire is the Least of Your Problems
Only in the Hub City can you pull into a tire shop to fix a flat and leave with no car, no wallet, and a fresh case of PTSD. Our victim was at Crest Tires on Avenue Q—because where else would you be for a crime story?—when a stranger decided that pointing a gun was [...]Read More... from Ave Q: Where a Flat Tire is the Least of Your Problems
Mackenzie Park Easter: Because Nothing Says ‘He Is Risen’ Like a Punch to the Face and a Bullet to the Hand
Nothing captures the spiritual majesty of Easter Sunday in Lubbock quite like the annual tradition of dodging projectiles at Mackenzie Park. While most of the civilized world was busy peeling hard-boiled eggs or pretending to enjoy ham, 40-year-old Margarito Sarmiento Espinoza was busy turning the park into a low-budget action movie. According to the police, [...]Read More... from Mackenzie Park Easter: Because Nothing Says ‘He Is Risen’ Like a Punch to the Face and a Bullet to the Hand
Public Health
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Shallowater: Come for the Small-Town Charm, Stay for the Radioactive Kidney Failure
Our neighbors in Shallowater just got some glowing news from the Texas Commission on Environmental Quality. It turns out the local tap water has officially surpassed the EPA’s “try not to grow a third arm” limit for combined uranium. While the feds suggest 30 micrograms per liter is the maximum acceptable amount for human survival, [...]Read More... from Shallowater: Come for the Small-Town Charm, Stay for the Radioactive Kidney Failure
East Lubbock Hospitality: Now Featuring Free Dental Exams (From Stray Dogs)
Nothing says “Good morning, Hub City” quite like an 8:00 AM cardio session involving a pack of aggressive dogs. On Thursday morning, an elderly woman in the 2400 block of East 8th Street found out the hard way that in Lubbock, the sidewalks aren’t just for walking—they’re a buffet line for neighborhood hounds whose owners [...]Read More... from East Lubbock Hospitality: Now Featuring Free Dental Exams (From Stray Dogs)
Lubbock’s “Cicada” Strategy: If We Don’t Test the Poop, the Virus Doesn’t Exist
The CDC is sounding the alarm on yet another variant, BA.3.2, nicknamed “Cicada.” While the CDC is just trying to make sure we’re aware this thing is making the rounds, Lubbock is handling the news with its trademark “if I can’t see it, it’s not there” energy. Local health officials claim there’s “no record” of [...]Read More... from Lubbock’s “Cicada” Strategy: If We Don’t Test the Poop, the Virus Doesn’t Exist
Education
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Texas Tech Achieves Peak Innovation by Deleting Decades of Social Progress with a Bot
Chancellor Brandon Creighton (our favorite former state lawmaker turned academic overlord) has finally solved the biggest crisis facing West Texas: the existence of Women’s and Gender Studies. In a memo that screams “I didn’t actually enjoy my elective credits,” Creighton ordered the Texas Tech System to phase out any program “centered on” sexual orientation or [...]Read More... from Texas Tech Achieves Peak Innovation by Deleting Decades of Social Progress with a Bot
Texas SBOE Solves Literacy Crisis by Deleting Frederick Douglass and Doubling Down on Sunday School
In a move that surprised absolutely no one who has spent more than five minutes in this state, the Texas State Board of Education just gave preliminary approval to a mandatory reading list for 2030. Because if there’s one thing Texas schools are famous for, it’s our love of “mandatory” things—unless it’s masks, vaccines, or [...]Read More... from Texas SBOE Solves Literacy Crisis by Deleting Frederick Douglass and Doubling Down on Sunday School
Shallowater Band Director Moves Up from Local Creep to Federal Felon
Just when you thought Shallowater’s reputation for “family values” couldn’t get any more tarnished, Joseph Macaulay Gonzalez has managed to level up. Our favorite 27-year-old former assistant band director isn’t just a local disappointment anymore; he’s now officially a federal problem. On April 8, a grand jury decided that his extracurricular activities deserved more than [...]Read More... from Shallowater Band Director Moves Up from Local Creep to Federal Felon
Local Government
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Pick Your Poison: The 2026 Race to Sink the Hub City
Welcome back to another episode of “Who Wants to Rule This Dust Bowl?” as the mayoral candidates for the 2026 election crawl out of the woodwork to promise us the world while the potholes on 34th Street continue to swallow subcompact cars. Leading the pack is incumbent Mark McBrayer, who’s spent two years bragging about [...]Read More... from Pick Your Poison: The 2026 Race to Sink the Hub City
Gary Boren Learns That Calendars Are Not Just For Decorative Purposes
Gary Boren, a man who has run for more local offices than there are potholes on Indiana Avenue, just hit a slight snag in his latest quest for power. It turns out that when the City of Lubbock asks how long you’ve lived in a district, they actually expect you to tell the truth—and then, [...]Read More... from Gary Boren Learns That Calendars Are Not Just For Decorative Purposes
Oops, We’re Rich: Lubbock County Accidental Surplus Ignites War of Words
In a stunning display of “only in Lubbock” incompetence, our local government is currently embroiled in a bitter civil war because—get this—they actually have too much money. Last week’s audit revealed that the county ended the 2024-25 budget year with a $10 million swing in their favor. While County Auditor Kathy Williams previously warned that [...]Read More... from Oops, We’re Rich: Lubbock County Accidental Surplus Ignites War of Words
Economics
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Screwed: Sid Miller Warns of Flesh-Eating Larvae Creeping Toward the Border
Our favorite cowboy-cosplaying Agriculture Commissioner, Sid Miller, has officially entered “The Sky is Falling” mode, and for once, it’s not about his travel expenses. This time, he’s sounding the alarm over the New World screwworm, which was just spotted in Nuevo León, Mexico—a mere 90 miles from the Texas border. That’s basically a short commute [...]Read More... from Screwed: Sid Miller Warns of Flesh-Eating Larvae Creeping Toward the Border
Texas AG Candidates Compete to See Who Can Send Us Back to 1950 the Fastest
Our potential future Attorneys General, Chip Roy and Mayes Middleton, recently held a “Who Can Be More Like Ken Paxton” contest in Tyler. Apparently, they’re bored with just suing the feds a hundred times a year and have decided to start a legal garage sale where they try to toss out every Supreme Court ruling [...]Read More... from Texas AG Candidates Compete to See Who Can Send Us Back to 1950 the Fastest
Texas Flushes $3.2 Billion Down the Data Center Toilet While We Pray Our AC Stays On
In a move that surprises absolutely no one who has ever dealt with Texas “economic development,” the state is currently set to light $3.2 billion in sales tax revenue on fire over the next two years. Why? To make sure companies building massive warehouses full of blinking lights—otherwise known as data centers—don’t have to pay [...]Read More... from Texas Flushes $3.2 Billion Down the Data Center Toilet While We Pray Our AC Stays On
Police
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The Hub City Information Blackout: Texas Tech Police Master the Art of Saying Absolutely Nothing
Welcome to Lubbock, where the only thing moving slower than the traffic on Indiana Avenue is the paperwork for a fatal accident. Jordyn Dabelstein, a 22-year-old nursing student, was sitting at a red light at the Texas Tech Parkway—minding her own business and probably thinking about clinicals—when a truck decided that brakes were merely a [...]Read More... from The Hub City Information Blackout: Texas Tech Police Master the Art of Saying Absolutely Nothing
LPD Reminds You That Getting Hit by a Car Is Actually a “You” Problem
Lubbock has officially hit a new milestone in “efficiency” this week, managing to clock two pedestrian fatalities in just 48 hours. While most cities might look at those numbers and wonder if maybe, just maybe, our six-lane stroads are a bit of a death trap, the Lubbock Police Department is here to remind us that [...]Read More... from LPD Reminds You That Getting Hit by a Car Is Actually a “You” Problem
The Hub City’s Favorite Game: Jurisdictional Hot Potato (feat. A 3/4-Ton Truck)
Welcome to Lubbock, where the only thing flatter than the landscape is the police department’s transparency. We’ve got another tragic “oopsie” on our hands, this time at the corner of Texas Tech Parkway and Indiana Avenue. On Saturday night, Jordyn Dabelstein—a 22-year-old nursing student who actually had a promising future elsewhere—was sitting at a red [...]Read More... from The Hub City’s Favorite Game: Jurisdictional Hot Potato (feat. A 3/4-Ton Truck)