Politics
Texas Comptroller Discovers That ‘Acting’ Doesn’t Mean ‘King of the Universe’
In a shocking twist for anyone who thinks the Texas Constitution is just a suggestion, an Austin judge has officially told acting Comptroller Kelly Hancock…
Governor Abbott Graces Levelland With His Presence to Watch People Actually Work
Fresh off securing his fourth GOP nomination—because why change a thing when the status quo…
Texas Tech Achieves Peak Innovation by Deleting Decades of Social Progress with a Bot
Chancellor Brandon Creighton (our favorite former state lawmaker turned academic overlord) has finally solved the…
Texas AG Candidates Compete to See Who Can Send Us Back to 1950 the Fastest
Our potential future Attorneys General, Chip Roy and Mayes Middleton, recently held a “Who Can…
Panic in Austin: Dan Patrick Realizes Screaming About Vouchers Won’t Save the GOP from Itself
Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick—a man who usually spends his days finding new and creative ways…
Texas Politicians Brave Enough to Fight a Scary 2% of the Population
Our fearless leaders in Austin have finally identified the greatest threat to the Lone Star…
Texas’ New Anti-Woke Police Are Taking Snitch Reports via the “Trust Me, Bro” Method
Welcome to the latest installment of “Texas Government: Making It Up As We Go.” Our…
Ken Paxton’s DC Slumber Party: Because Why Use Your Own Credit Card When You Have Ours?
Leave it to our fearless Attorney General, Ken Paxton, to turn a DC winter storm…
Texas Reinvents the “Wheel” (By Making Sure 1.7 Million People Can’t Turn One)
Well, pull up a lawn chair and grab a Dr Pepper, because Austin has decided…
Judge Rejects Churches’ Quest to Become Tax-Free PACs; Pastors Forced to Stick to Regular Sinning
In a shocking blow to everyone who thinks the Bible is just a very long,…