Fresh off securing his fourth GOP nomination—because why change a thing when the status quo is this exciting—Governor Greg Abbott is making a daring trek to the sprawling metropolis of Levelland this Tuesday. Apparently, nothing screams “future of the Texas economy” quite like a Tuesday afternoon in Hockley County. He’s heading to South Plains College to tour their Automotive Technology and Welding Facility, presumably to see what it looks like when people have skills that don’t involve drafting press releases or gerrymandering.
The Governor won’t just be inhaling solder fumes for the sake of his health; he’s there to deliver “remarks” on the creation of the Texas Jobs Council. Because if there’s one thing Texas is desperately missing, it’s another government-appointed council to talk about the jobs we already have or the ones we’re hoping will magically appear. He’ll be flanked by a parade of VIPs, including the president of Teamsters Local 988 and a couple of college presidents, all of whom will likely be wearing the kind of pristine, un-smudged business casual that suggests they haven’t been within ten feet of a grease trap in thirty years.
Starting at 2 p.m., the tour will wind through the Automotive Technology Area, providing the perfect industrial-chic backdrop for a photo op. We can only hope the Governor’s remarks include an explanation of why it took four terms to finally get around to “investing” in the people who fix our trucks, or perhaps just a very long, awkward silence while a student in the background tries to figure out why a 2014 Ford F-150 is making that specific rattling noise.
After decades in office, isn’t it comforting to know our leadership is finally discovering that someone actually has to know how to weld the pipes that keep this state’s ego inflated?
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