Tristan Rene Langston, 37, apparently thought posting threats against Secret Service agents and their families was a solid use of social media. Spoiler alert: it was not. A federal jury in Lubbock found him guilty of exactly that—because nothing screams “life choices” like picking a fight with people whose entire job is guarding presidents.
Back in February, Langston made his keyboard-warrior threats public enough to get the feds’ attention. The U.S. District Court for the Northern District of Texas didn’t exactly buy the whole “I was just kidding” vibe, and on August 7 the jury returned a guilty verdict.
Now, instead of enjoying Facebook rants from the comfort of his couch, Langston gets to enjoy the federal justice system up close and personal. His sentencing is set for November 6 at the Lubbock courthouse, where the only “likes” he’ll be counting are the years added to his sentence.
Pro tip: when your big idea is “let’s threaten the Secret Service,” maybe just log off and go touch some grass instead.
