In a city where the most exciting thing that usually happens is a new car wash opening, leave it to the Bandidos to remind us that Lubbock is still the wild, wild west—just with more arthritis and filing cabinets. Steven Glenn Ryals, the 74-year-old president of the local “Notorious” chapter, was recently hauled in by a small army of federal agents. Apparently, while most people his age are arguing about the early bird special at Golden Corral, “Hot Tub” (yes, that’s his name, and no, we don’t want to know why) was allegedly busy overseeing a meth empire from his home-slash-clubhouse.
During a raid that surely disrupted the quietest neighborhood block in town, the FBI and friends found 3.2 pounds of methamphetamine tucked away in a locked wooden filing cabinet. That’s right—nothing says “hardcore outlaw biker” like organized administrative storage. Agents also found digital scales, tiny plastic baggies, and a secret compartment in a bookshelf. It’s basically Breaking Bad meets The Golden Girls, but with more leather vests and fewer cheesecakes.
Now, Mr. Hot Tub is facing up to 20 years in federal prison. It took a joint task force involving the FBI, DEA, ATF, DPS, and presumably every other acronym in the government to take down a septuagenarian with a filing cabinet. Our tax dollars at work, folks: ensuring that the only “crank” in the Lubbock retirement community stays strictly in the medical history charts.
If he does get the full 20 years, do you think the feds will let him bring his own filing cabinet to the cell, or is that considered a luxury item?
