Texas Tech has officially decided it has found The One. Head football coach Joey McGuire signed a seven-year contract extension that keeps him in Lubbock through January 2033, a deal worth $51.9 million before incentives. McGuire recently said he wants to be at Tech “for the rest of his life,” which is sweet, assuming buyouts don’t exist and college football never changes again.
The contract structure is a little funky, starting December 1 and running through January 31 for year one because postseason football apparently bends time itself. After that, contracts begin February 1 like a normal job in an extremely normal industry. McGuire’s base salary is a modest $300,000 per year, but don’t worry—this is college football, so the real money comes from “rights fees,” aka outside athletics income tied to uniforms, apparel, and merch. Those start at $4 million and jump to $6.2 million in year two, increasing by $100,000 every year because inflation apparently only affects coaches.
Performance incentives are where things get spicy. In 2025, McGuire can earn up to $1 million in bonuses, with payouts already triggered by 11 regular-season wins and a College Football Playoff quarterfinal appearance. Starting in 2026, bonuses shift to Big 12 championships, bowl wins, playoff victories, and even Heisman trophies—because nothing motivates a coach like knowing someone else might win an award.
So yes, while the rest of Lubbock debates property taxes, power reliability, and whether dust counts as weather, Texas Tech is locking down its coach until 2033 with a deal that screams stability, confidence, and absolutely no fear of how fast college football eats its own. What could possibly go wrong?
“Coach for life,” huh? In college football years, that’s… what, like three seasons?