Nothing says “civil discourse” quite like gathering a few hundred teenagers and homeschoolers in South Lubbock to celebrate the life and martyrdom of Charlie Kirk — who, if you didn’t know, apparently died for our sins. Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton (yes, that Ken Paxton — impeached, acquitted, and eternally persecuted by “evil”) headlined the Turning Point USA rally, where he compared the late conservative influencer to Jesus and himself to… well, the guy suing the Biden administration 107 times. Amen.
Paxton shared how his “trials” — like being impeached by his own party — only made him stronger, and now he’s back to doing the Lord’s work: filing lawsuits and campaigning to “change” the Legislature. Texas Tech’s newly crowned Chancellor, Brandon Creighton, got a shout-out too — not for education policy, mind you, but for being one of the “courageous” senators who helped save Paxton’s job. Inspiring stuff for the youth, really: loyalty over law, vibes over virtue.
The rally’s student leaders spoke about “free exchange of ideas,” which is rich coming from an organization that defines “free speech” as saying what everyone around you already agrees with. The Tech chapter has reportedly exploded from five members this summer to hundreds since Kirk’s “assassination,” proving nothing fuels political fervor quite like martyrdom and TikTok.
High schoolers from “Club America” (because “Civics Club” was too woke, apparently) beamed about their newfound passion for politics and God — two things that always mix well. Between calls to “save America” and warnings about “AI misinformation,” the crowd learned that screenagers can still be true believers — as long as their feed stays properly curated.
If Turning Point USA keeps growing this fast, Lubbock might just become the holiest conservative city in America — assuming God’s okay with holding rallies in a garage.
