If you’re planning to embark on a chaotic, multi-vehicle carjacking spree, standard criminal logic suggests picking a quiet neighborhood or a dark alley. But here in the Hub City, we do things a little differently. Meet 26-year-old Isaiah Houston, who decided the absolute best venue for his Friday afternoon crime spree was the 800 block of Broadway Avenue—coincidentally situated right between the Lubbock County Courthouse and the federal building. Because nothing screams “clean getaway” like a block crawling with off-duty cops, federal agents, and armed security guards.
Houston’s tactical execution was just as flawless as his location scouting. According to court documents, he kicked off his afternoon by targeting a box truck stopped at a red light. The driver, exhibiting peak West Texas patience, simply shoved Houston out of the way and rolled up the window. Undeterred by this immediate rejection, Houston upgraded to a knife and advanced to a parked black SUV, where he allegedly dragged a woman out of the driver’s seat. The catch? She was holding a newborn baby. Real classy stuff, Isaiah.
Naturally, the fleet of law enforcement officers who literally work right there noticed the commotion and the screaming. What followed was a high-stakes foot chase around the west side of the courthouse. In a desperate bid for freedom, Houston tried to audition for a Fast & Furious stunt by attempting to climb into the back of a random, moving pickup truck. When that failed, he fled to a nearby bus stop, still clutching his knife, where a security guard promptly ended the showcase by shooting him in the leg.
Houston is now sitting in federal custody, facing up to 15 years in prison for his downtown grand tour. If you’re going to trade your freedom for a bullet in the leg and a permanent spot on the federal docket, you might as well have just waited for the Citibus like everyone else.
Source:
