In a shocking development that has scientists questioning the laws of physics, a whopping 23% of Texans actually managed to find a polling place this week. That’s right—nearly one in four registered voters took a break from staring at the horizon to participate in the primary. Locally, Lubbock County was called out as a “high turnout” leader with over 24% participation, proving that if there’s one thing we love more than a windstorm, it’s the opportunity to yell at a ballot box.
The big draw? A Republican cage match between incumbent John Cornyn and Ken Paxton, because apparently, we haven’t had enough drama in the Attorney General’s office yet. They’re headed for a runoff, which means we get another few months of attack ads while we try to figure out which “party stalwart” is less likely to make us the national laughingstock of the week.
On the blue side, Democrats are high on the fact that they actually outvoted Republicans for the first time since 2020. They’ve pinned their hopes on state Rep. James Talarico to break a losing streak that dates back to 1994—the year The Lion King came out. They’re citing “backlash” against the current administration as their fuel, which is a bold strategy in a city where “backlash” is usually reserved for when the local Raising Cane’s runs out of sauce.
While the Texas Tribune is busy calling this “electrifying momentum,” let’s be real: 77% of the state still treated Election Day like a suggested speed limit on I-27. We’ve got “barnburner” races and “spicy” contests, yet three-quarters of the population couldn’t be bothered to put down their remote. But hey, Lubbock hit 24%, so I guess we can all pat ourselves on the back for being slightly more conscious than a hibernating prairie dog.
If 24% is what we call “smashing records,” does that mean we only need 30% to finally get the city to fix the potholes on 34th Street?
https://www.texastribune.org/2026/03/04/texas-2026-primary-turnout-democratic-republican/
