In a city where the most exciting thing usually happens in a United Supermarkets parking lot, Jaime Flores decided to spice up a Tuesday night by turning 34th and Salem into a low-budget action movie. While a Lubbock County Deputy was just trying to do his job in an unmarked car—probably wondering if the Taco Bell nearby was still open—Flores and his band of merry men allegedly decided to open fire. Because nothing says “Hub City Hospitality” like taking potshots at a car you don’t recognize.
After the deputy wisely decided that being a target wasn’t in his job description for the evening, the Texas Anti-Gang Unit descended upon the neighborhood. They eventually found our protagonist, Mr. Flores, practicing his stealth skills in a nearby backyard. Naturally, he tried to bolt, because if at first you don’t succeed at shooting a cop, you might as well try out for the Olympic sprint team. When they finally tackled him, they found he was packing not one, but three firearms.
The best part? Flores is already a convicted felon—specifically for evading arrest with a vehicle. You’d think after the first time he tried to outrun the law, he’d realize he isn’t exactly Lightning McQueen, but Lubbock is nothing if not a land of stubborn persistence. He’s now been slapped with a 37-month federal sentence for being a felon in possession of a firearm, a charge he admitted to with all the grace of someone who realized the jig was up about three backyards ago.
So, while Jaime heads off to federal prison to contemplate his life choices, his state charges are still pending, and he’s currently lounging in the Lubbock County Detention Center. It’s comforting to know that even in a city with more churches than trees, some people still believe the best way to handle a “suspicious” vehicle is to provide the local news with enough content to fill a slow Friday afternoon.
Is there anything more “Lubbock” than a guy with a history of running away from the police getting caught while trying to run away from the police?
