In a city where the most exciting Friday night activity is usually watching the dust settle on a different colored curb, 32-year-old John Deleon decided to spice things up by turning a residential alleyway into his own personal “Monster Jam” set. Because nothing says “stable individual” like using a multi-ton pickup truck to express your feelings about an ex-girlfriend’s visitor.
The incident, which feels like a deleted scene from a low-budget West Texas remake of Mad Max, began when a man went to check on a woman he used to date. He found Deleon waiting in the alley, because apparently, Lubbock men spend 40% of their lives idling in alleys waiting for a reason to be a problem. When the victim tried to back away—the universal signal for “I don’t want any part of this Hub City nonsense”—Deleon decided that instead of a polite conversation, he’d prefer a game of vehicular tag.
According to court records, Deleon didn’t just hit the victim’s truck once; he rammed it five separate times. Five. That is the kind of commitment to property damage you usually only see from a toddler with a hammer or a Lubbock driver in a snowstorm. He eventually shoved the victim’s car against a dumpster, which is a fittingly poetic metaphor for how most relationships end in this town, before speeding off into the sunset—or more likely, into another alley.
This wasn’t even Deleon’s first time using his truck as a blunt-force instrument. Back in 2024, he reportedly introduced his pickup to the woman’s garage door in a similar fit of automotive passion. He’s currently sitting in the Lubbock County Detention Center on a $215,503 bond, which is a hefty price to pay for a hobby that could be easily replaced by a $20 ticket to the actual demolition derby at the South Plains Fair.
Given that our local architecture is apparently just a series of “suggested targets” for Mr. Deleon, is it time we start building Lubbock garages out of reinforced titanium, or should we just start screening for “excessive RAM usage” on dating profiles?
