Good news, everyone! Lubbock’s Public Health department officially has “no concern” about community spread following a confirmed case of the measles. Apparently, we’ve reached a level of local zen where a highly contagious, once-eradicated virus is just another Tuesday in the Hub City. The lucky winner of this year’s first “Traveler’s Toxin” award was an unvaccinated individual who likely picked it up while venturing out of our dusty paradise and into the big, scary world.
Health officials are patting themselves on the back because they isolated the person quickly and did a little contact tracing. Assistant Director Rachel Dolan emphasized that since it’s just one isolated case, there’s absolutely no reason to worry about a repeat of last year’s greatest hits—you know, the breakout where Lubbock was the “central point of the virus” with over 700 cases.
Speaking of last year, it turns out our local medical professionals were caught a bit off guard because they hadn’t seen a measles rash in person for decades. But don’t you worry your pretty little head; Dolan says they are “much quicker” at having conversations about rashes now. It’s comforting to know that after 700 tries, our doctors finally know what a red spot looks like.
If you’re wondering if you’re actually immune, the city says if you were born before 1957, you probably just survived the disease as a kid and “remember that experience”. For everyone else, tracking down vaccine records is apparently a nightmare, so maybe just check for Koplik spots in the mirror and hope for the best. If you start seeing a rash spread from your hairline to your feet, give them a call.
After 700 cases last year, we’re told not to worry about one today because we’re now “experts” at identifying rashes—is “competence by catastrophe” the new city motto?
