Welcome to another beautiful day in the Hub City, where the wind is always blowing, the dirt is always flying, and your fellow citizens are apparently one red light away from a total psychological collapse. If you thought the biggest threat on North University and Erskine was a pothole deep enough to swallow a Honda Civic, think again. 60-year-old Adam Martinez decided to turn a Tuesday afternoon into a low-budget remake of Mad Max: Fury Road, proving that you’re never too old to have a public meltdown.
According to the police, Martinez spent his Tuesday chasing another driver around, repeatedly trying to ram the victim’s car like he was auditioning for a demolition derby. He eventually hit his target at a gas station, because nothing says “I’ve lost control of my life” like a high-speed collision in front of a Pump ’N’ Shop. But it’s what happened next that really highlights the sophisticated level of discourse we’ve reached in Lubbock: Martinez exited his vehicle and taunted the victim by chucking a bag of chips at his face.
We aren’t sure if they were Flamin’ Hot or Cool Ranch, but we do know that “assault by snack food” wasn’t quite enough to satisfy Martinez’s rage. He reportedly leveled up by pulling a knife from his driver’s side door to finish the intimidation circuit. When the cops finally arrived to spoil the fun, Martinez pulled the classic Lubbock move of lying through his teeth, claiming the victim was the one trying to kill him.
Unfortunately for Adam, gas station security cameras don’t get “confused” the way 60-year-old road ragers do. The footage backed the victim, and Martinez was hauled off to the Lubbock County Detention Center. He’s currently sitting on a $100,000 bond—which, to be fair, is a pretty steep price to pay for a tantrum that started with a bag of Fritos.
In a city where people drive like the traffic lights are merely festive suggestions, do we really need to add “projectile salty snacks” to the list of road hazards?
https://www.everythinglubbock.com/news/local-news/lubbock-road-rage-arrest/
