Welcome back to another edition of “Will I Survive My Commute?”, the favorite daily game show of everyone living in the Hub City. This week, our local asphalt warriors really outdid themselves, proving once again that if you have the audacity to walk, ride, or even park your car anywhere near a main thoroughfare, you’re basically signing a waiver.
Let’s start with Monday night, because why ease into the chaos? Around 10:00 p.m., 64-year-old Arnulfo Rodriguez attempted the ultimate high-risk Lubbock activity: crossing the street on foot. While walking south across 50th Street near Avenue Q, he was struck by a pickup truck—Lubbock’s official state bird—driven by a 19-year-old. Rodriguez later died at UMC from his injuries. According to the Lubbock Police Department, no charges have been filed yet, because apparently, treating pedestrians like optional road hazards is just standard driving etiquette around here.
But wait, Monday night wasn’t done! Just twenty minutes before that fatal crash, 27-year-old Miguel Lorenzana was riding his motorcycle near Indiana Avenue and South Loop 289 when he was involved in a single-bike wreck that landed him in UMC with serious injuries. This came a mere two days after another motorcyclist was seriously injured over by the Marsha Sharp Freeway and Spur 327. Note to self: if it has two wheels, Lubbock drivers will find a way to make it a liability.
To cap off this beautiful week of vehicular anarchy, Wednesday night brought us a classic West Texas hit-and-run. A patrol officer tried to pull someone over on 34th Street for a minor traffic violation, but because pulling over is for cowards, the driver bolted. They quickly lost control, plowed directly into a row of innocent, parked, unoccupied vehicles at a local business, and then vanished into the night on foot. The Major Crash Unit was called out just to survey the spectacular amount of property damage.
At this point, wouldn’t it just be cheaper and safer for the city to replace all our roads with giant mattresses, or should we all just accept our fate and buy armored tanks for the grocery run?
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