In the latest installment of Why We Can’t Have Nice Things in the 806, we bring you the story of 23-year-old Alec Isaiah Banda. On a recent Friday morning—a time when most of us are struggling to stay awake through a Zoom call—Alec decided to spice things up at the intersection of FM 41 and Highway 87. Apparently, stop signs are merely “suggestions” when you’ve had a liquid breakfast, so Alec cruised his Chrysler straight into a pickup truck, proving once again that physics is a harsh mistress.
The results of Alec’s morning commute were about as charming as a West Texas dust storm. The driver he hit, Susan Rubio, suffered a compound femur fracture so severe the bone was literally greeting the first responders. While she was being rushed to emergency surgery for life-threatening blood loss and her passenger, Daniel Rubio, was dealing with a chest full of broken ribs, Alec was reportedly having the time of his life. Witnesses say he hopped out of his car “laughing and smiling,” because nothing sets the mood for a felony arrest like the sight of a grisly medical emergency.
When the Lubbock County Sheriff’s deputies arrived, they noticed Alec’s eyes were a bit glassy and he smelled like the floor of a Broadway bar at 2:00 AM. Our local hero admitted he had been throwing them back before work that morning. It’s a bold career move, really—nothing says “Employee of the Month” quite like showing up to the job with a BAC higher than your GPA and a fresh Intoxication Assault charge.
Alec is currently cooling his heels in the Lubbock County Detention Center, where hopefully the guards find his stand-up routine as hilarious as he did. I guess when you live in a town this flat, you have to create your own “highs,” even if it involves shattering a stranger’s legs before lunch.
If you can’t find the humor in a life-threatening car wreck caused by your own incompetence, are you even really living the Lubbock dream?
https://www.everythinglubbock.com/news/latest/lubbock-arrest-intoxication-assault/
