Nothing captures the spiritual majesty of Easter Sunday in Lubbock quite like the annual tradition of dodging projectiles at Mackenzie Park. While most of the civilized world was busy peeling hard-boiled eggs or pretending to enjoy ham, 40-year-old Margarito Sarmiento Espinoza was busy turning the park into a low-budget action movie.
According to the police, the festivities kicked off around 7:30 p.m. when Sarmiento got into the Lubbock version of a theological debate—which is to say, a “verbal altercation” with an unnamed individual. Rather than using his words like a big boy, Sarmiento allegedly decided to express himself by punching 39-year-old Romana Cuellar in the face. It’s a bold move for a Sunday evening, but clearly, the spirit moved him.
But why stop at simple battery when you can really ruin everyone’s weekend? Sarmiento reportedly decided to escalate things by pulling out a firearm. In a display of marksmanship that can only be described as “pure Lubbock,” he managed to shoot 19-year-old Coby Gonzalez, who was—you guessed it—just a bystander minding his own business. Because in this town, if you aren’t looking for trouble, it’ll usually find your left hand anyway.
Sarmiento is currently cooling his heels in the Lubbock County Detention Center on charges of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and assault causing bodily injury. Between the $45,000 bond and the ICE detainer, he’s going to have plenty of time to reflect on his holiday choices. Meanwhile, Coby Gonzalez got a trip to UMC for his minor injuries, making him the only person in history to leave an Easter picnic with a “healed” hand and a hospital bill.
Is it even a Lubbock holiday if someone doesn’t end up in the ER or the county lockup before the sun goes down?
