In a stunning display of “only in Lubbock” incompetence, our local government is currently embroiled in a bitter civil war because—get this—they actually have too much money. Last week’s audit revealed that the county ended the 2024-25 budget year with a $10 million swing in their favor. While County Auditor Kathy Williams previously warned that they’d have to drain $7 million from reserves just to keep the lights on, the county actually added $3 million to the pile.
Naturally, the Commissioners are furious. Why? Because they spent the last year denying employee raises, cutting road maintenance, and stiffing volunteer firefighters based on “doom and gloom” projections that turned out to be about as accurate as a Hub City weather forecast. Now, Commissioner Michael Dalby is picking his jaw up off the floor, while Commissioner Cary Shaw is busy filing verbal complaints because the Auditor admitted she “underestimates” income on purpose so the Commissioners won’t spend it. It’s the fiscal equivalent of a mom hiding the “emergency” Oreos because she knows her kids have no self-control.
But the real star of this budget circus is Commissioner Jason Corley. In a quote that belongs in the Hall of Fame for local governance, Corley admitted he doesn’t even bother looking at the actual financial data anymore. Instead, he just “looks at people’s eyes” to see if they’re lying. Forget spreadsheets, forensic accounting, or basic arithmetic—Lubbock County is apparently being run by a man who uses the “Vibe Check” method of public policy.
Meanwhile, County Judge Curtis Parrish is trying to gaslight us all into believing this is the “platinum standard” of accounting, claiming our Auditor’s office is world-renowned. He’s very proud of the “gold standard” work being done, even as his own board members are holding rogue press conferences and accusing the Auditor of lying. It’s a beautiful, chaotic mess where the employees get no raises, the roads stay crumbled, and the people in charge are too busy arguing over who’s the best at being wrong.
Who knew that “fiscal responsibility” in West Texas just meant losing track of $10 million while staring deeply into each other’s souls?
