Welcome back to another episode of “Who Wants to Rule This Dust Bowl?” as the mayoral candidates for the 2026 election crawl out of the woodwork to promise us the world while the potholes on 34th Street continue to swallow subcompact cars. Leading the pack is incumbent Mark McBrayer, who’s spent two years bragging about a 100-year water plan and a lake that won’t actually be ready until 2032. He claims he’s a tax-cutting hero, yet in the same breath, he admits he might hike property taxes to pay for more police officers because apparently, the current budget is just too lean for his liking. He’s also banking on a 60,000-square-foot arena that he pinky-promises will be paid for entirely by “visitors,” because everyone knows Lubbock is a top-tier global tourist destination.
Then we have Stephen Sanders, the man who has been running for mayor since 2018 and apparently won’t take a hint. His “100 million dollar plan” involves throwing three giant festivals to magically generate $48 million in a weekend—because nothing says “fiscal stability” like betting the city’s future on a mosh pit. If the festivals fail, don’t worry; he wants to build an “inland port” on I-27 for truckers to hang out. He also threw around some spicy “corruption” accusations without naming names, which is a bold move for someone whose economic strategy sounds like a Fyre Festival sequel.
Peggy Bohmfalk is entering the ring because she’s a disabled veteran with “abundant free time” and felt “lazy” just volunteering. Her platform is essentially “intelligent growth” and transparency, which she feels the current council lacks, especially after they ignored the public to scrap impact fees. She’s a former Army counterintelligence agent and Russian linguist, so maybe she can finally figure out where all our tax money actually goes.
Meanwhile, G. Todd Winans decided to run because he saw a broken stop sign with an expensive solar panel and felt a spiritual calling to fix it. He wants “citizen participation” to solve our budget woes, which is a polite way of saying he wants you to figure out how to pay for everything while he increases “tourist taxes” on the three people who accidentally take the wrong exit off the highway.
Early voting starts April 20th, and Election Day is May 2nd, so get ready to choose between the guy who wants more lakes, the guy who wants more festivals, the lady who’s bored, and the guy who’s mad at a stop sign.
With all these “plans” to save us, how much longer until we just start paying our property taxes in tumbleweeds and grit?
