Texas Tech Police had another banner week, which in Lubbock terms means: bikes disappeared at every residence hall with a bicycle rack, scooters evaporated like West Texas moisture, and Bledsoe kept its title as the undisputed heavyweight champion of Liquor Law Violations. Sprinkle in a few non-students wandering campus with drug paraphernalia and THC oil like they’re touring the grounds, and you’ve got the usual Tech police blotter bingo card.
The week did include one standout moment: a hate crime based on race and national origin—because apparently we can’t have anything on campus without bigotry showing up to ruin it. There was also a 2017 hazing incident that finally decided to report itself, seven full years later. Maybe it just needed time to emotionally prepare.
Beyond that, officers juggled the standard mix of traffic accidents, public intoxication, emergency detentions, and someone stealing cash from a business in the Student Union—because nothing says “higher education” like petty theft near Chick-fil-A. And in true Red Raider fashion, half the incidents involved someone being drunk, high, or trying very hard to get that way.
Meanwhile, Tech’s bike racks apparently now function as a “take one” free-for-all, with secured bicycles and electric scooters going missing from almost every building on campus. At this point, it might be faster for students to just carry their bikes with them into class.
If this is what happens in a single week, how exactly does Tech plan to handle the holidays—with a prayer, a bike lock, or just accepting fate?
