In a move that proves Governor Greg Abbott has a sense of humor, the state has awarded Texas Tech University $149 million to build an Electromagnetic Pulse (EMP) testing site and “cybersecurity infrastructure.” Because when I think of cutting-edge, high-tech defense against hostile foreign adversaries and global digital warfare, the first place I think of is a repurposed air force base next to a cotton field in West Texas.
The plan is to turn the Reese National Security Complex into a fortress capable of protecting our electric grid and water systems from hackers and solar flares. Apparently, the state thinks if Tech researchers can figure out how to keep a website running while 60,000 people try to buy football tickets at once, they can definitely thwart a coordinated strike from a rogue nation.
Our local politicians are, of course, tripping over their cowboy boots to take credit. Speaker Dustin Burrows and Senator Charles Perry are calling Lubbock a “national leader” in security. It’s a bold claim for a city where the “critical infrastructure” is currently held together by prayer, caliche, and the hope that no one hits a utility pole on 19th Street.
Tech will be collaborating with the Army, Navy, and Homeland Security to make sure our “economic stability” remains intact. It’s comforting to know that while the rest of the country collapses into a digital dark age, the Red Raiders will be sitting in a bunker at Reese, safely insulated from the EMP, probably still trying to figure out why the Marsha Sharp freeway is under construction for the 400th consecutive year.
It’s nice to know we’re spending $149 million to protect the power grid from space rays, but can we maybe spare twenty bucks to find a way to keep the lights on during a light breeze?