In a plot twist that surprises absolutely no one who has survived more than a week in Texas politics, the ammosexual Brandon Herrera—better known to the internet as “The AK Guy”—has officially snagged the golden ticket: a Donald Trump endorsement. This comes right after the incumbent, Tony Gonzales, decided to vacate the seat for “personal reasons,” which is political shorthand for “I got caught having an affair with a staffer and now the House Ethics Committee is poking around.”
Gonzales was already on the GOP’s naughty list for the unforgivable sin of voting for a bipartisan gun safety bill after the Uvalde massacre. You know, trying to keep kids from getting shot—a real career-killer in certain circles. Herrera, a YouTuber who literally built his brand on manufacturing firearms and being “edgy” for clicks, smelled blood in the water. He spent the last year calling Gonzales a “baby back bitch” and a “neo-Nazi” (pot, meet kettle), and it turns out that being a professional internet troll is actually a great resume builder for federal office.
But Herrera isn’t just bringing high-capacity magazines to the table; he’s bringing a search history that would make a PR firm jump off a bridge. We’re talking about a guy who joked that since he thinks about putting a gun in his mouth, he’s basically an “honorary veteran.” He’s also got some “historical” videos featuring Holocaust jokes and a casual ownership of Mein Kampf. His campaign says it’s all for “educational purposes,” which is the same excuse I use when I’m caught watching trashy reality TV instead of working.
Now, the Democrats think they have a real shot with Katy Padilla Stout, a former teacher and lawyer who is banking on the wild idea that voters might prefer a “decent person” over a guy who simulates assassinations for YouTube views. It’s a bold strategy, Katy. In a district that spans from San Antonio to the West Texas border, she’s hoping moderate Republicans are tired of the circus. Meanwhile, Herrera is “fighting like he’s behind,” which shouldn’t be hard considering his favorability ratings are currently hovering somewhere near “gas station sushi.”
Is it really a “scandal” if the replacement candidate makes the original guy look like a Sunday School teacher, or is this just the natural evolution of the Texas GOP?
