In most parts of the civilized world, if you accidentally send money to the wrong person on a payment app, you send a polite request for a refund and hope they aren’t a total jerk. But this is the Hub City, where we prefer our customer service disputes to involve multiple late-night house calls and a tragic lack of basic human logic. Daniel King, 28, apparently decided that the best way to resolve a digital accounting error with 51-year-old Shawn Bowen was to haunt Bowen’s driveway like a persistent ghost, returning three times in one night until things finally took a turn for the “Only in Lubbock.”
According to the affidavit, the grand finale of this financial summit involved Bowen allegedly brandishing a BB gun, which King mistook for a real pistol because everyone in this town assumes their neighbor is packing heat. In a display of defensive driving that would make a demolition derby driver proud, King reversed his vehicle, ducked behind the steering wheel for cover—because who needs to see where they’re going?—and promptly mowed Bowen down.
Most people, upon realizing they’ve just used their car as a 3,000-pound flyswatter, might call an ambulance. Not our protagonist. After realizing the “deadly weapon” was just a toy, King reportedly yelled at the dying man and fled. But don’t worry, his conscience kicked in later—sort of. He returned to the scene not to perform CPR, but to take some photos and, in a move that should be taught in every medical textbook under “How to Confirm Death,” he “tapped” the back of Bowen’s head with his shoe to see if he was “faking it.”
Once he determined that Bowen wasn’t just a world-class method actor, King thoughtfully placed the man’s wallet and BB gun on his back and fled for a second time. He’s currently sitting in the Lubbock County Detention Center on a $100,000 bond for Failure to Stop and Render Aid, which is legal-speak for “hitting someone with your car and then treating the body like a prop in a weird photo shoot.”
At what point during the third drive-by or the post-collision shoe-tap did King think, “Yeah, this is definitely the most efficient way to handle a mistaken CashApp transfer”?
