Only in Lubbock can a college football game escalate from tossing tortillas to tossing knives. During Texas Tech’s 42–17 victory over Kansas, a closed pocket knife mysteriously appeared on the Jayhawks’ sideline, sparking an investigation by the Big 12 and a whole lot of local facepalming. Tech officials insist it’s all being handled “internally,” which, around here, usually means “we’ll get to it when we’re done watching the tape.”
Kansas coach Lance Leipold wasn’t thrilled, claiming a staff member was hit by the flying blade right after a Red Raider touchdown. He confronted Joey McGuire mid-field, where things got spicy—McGuire shouted something along the lines of, “You want me to do something (expletive) about it?” Because nothing says sportsmanship like yelling expletives over a potential felony.
Tech’s athletic brass say they’re combing through footage to find the culprit, but don’t expect a fine. After all, the school’s athletic director literally voted against a Big 12 policy meant to stop fans from throwing things onto the field. The irony could cut through steel—just like a pocket knife.
Meanwhile, Lubbock’s most sacred tradition—the tortilla toss—continues to cause penalties and headaches. But, sure, let’s blame the Kansas coach for not “understanding the culture.” At this point, maybe the Big 12 should just include a “flying objects” category in the box score.
When your fan base can’t tell the difference between a kitchen staple and a weapon, maybe it’s time to rethink what “Wreck ’Em” really means.
