In the latest episode of I Hate Socialism Except When I Need It, Trump proudly announced a $12 billion bailout—sorry, “assistance”—for farmers whose businesses tanked thanks to the very tariffs he slapped on the economy. The funds are supposedly coming from tariff revenue, because apparently the president thinks taking money from Americans via higher import prices and then redistributing it back to farmers counts as a profit. Cute.
This grand gesture arrives after farmers suffered through record harvests no one wants (especially China), higher seed and fertilizer costs, and three straight years of losses. But don’t worry—Trump told them he loves them, and judging by how these same voters line up at the polls, the feeling is apparently mutual. Nothing says “bootstraps” like billions of dollars in government checks, right?
Up to $11 billion goes to a shiny new program for row crops hurt by trade disputes—because the solution to self-inflicted trade disasters is obviously more government bailouts. The remaining billion is floating around somewhere in the bureaucratic ether, maybe to specialty crops, maybe to whichever ribbon-cutting photo op comes next. Meanwhile, farm incomes are projected to drop by $30 billion next year despite all this “support,” because who needs economic expertise when you have vibes and slogans?
And just to add a sprinkle of irony: China promised to buy U.S. soybeans again, but has so far bought just a fraction—yet Trump officials assure everyone it’s all going according to plan. Which plan? The one where China ends up with a trillion-dollar surplus while American farmers need government welfare to survive? Nailed it.
Meanwhile let’s points out the real kicker: the White House is now using tariff revenue to fix the exact damage those tariffs caused—kind of like burning down your kitchen but congratulating yourself for knowing where the fire extinguisher is.
These farmers are the same folks who howl about socialism, big government, and handouts—until they need a government check. Then suddenly it’s “patriotic assistance,” not welfare. Funny how that works.
But hey, as long as they keep voting for the politicians lighting their livelihoods on fire, who are we to interrupt the ritual self-foot-shooting?
https://www.politico.com/news/2025/12/08/white-house-to-announce-farmer-bailout-package-00680633