Leave it to the fine folks in and around the Permian Basin to look at the region’s booming energy industry and think, “You know what? I bet I could steal that.” Six criminal masterminds out of a 14-person ring have officially pleaded guilty to siphoning off tens of thousands of barrels of crude oil. Because why rob a bank or lift catalytic converters when you can casually lug around massive, highly flammable vats of stolen dinosaur juice?
But the real comedy here is their stunning business acumen. These underworld prodigies stole oil with a fair market value pushing a million bucks, only to turn around and fence it to a couple of guys in Lovington and Hobbs for $10 to $15 a barrel. That’s right—they risked federal prison to sell stolen crude for the price of a mediocre fast-food combo meal. According to the feds, one guy fenced nearly $900,000 worth of oil for a measly $164,000. Warren Buffett, they are not.
The pipeline of stupidity didn’t stop in New Mexico. This discount crude was then pawned off to a couple of fellas from Electra, who hauled it across the state line to Seminole like they were bootlegging Coors beer in Smokey and the Bandit. They then flipped it to midstream buyers who apparently didn’t ask too many pesky questions about why they were suddenly getting the absolute steepest discount in the history of West Texas Intermediate.
Now, most of these entrepreneurial pioneers are looking at up to five years in federal prison, a quarter-million-dollar fine, and paying restitution, while some of their still-indicted buddies are staring down up to 65 years. I guess crime doesn’t pay—especially when you voluntarily put your felony-acquired goods on an 80% off clearance rack.
If you’re going to commit a massive, multi-state federal conspiracy, couldn’t you at least hold out for full market value?
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