Congratulations, Lubbock! We’ve officially achieved our goal of becoming a literal desert with zero oases. The city recently announced that for the 2026 season, public pools will remain exactly as they’ve been since 2024: bone-dry concrete pits suitable only for skateboarding or heatstroke. Clapp Pool, our final holdout of municipal hydration, has officially been declared “past the point of no return” for repairs.
According to the city’s Director of Communications, the maintenance issues are so bad that fixing them isn’t “feasible.” It’s an impressive feat of civic engineering to ignore a leak so long that the entire facility transforms into a historical ruin before our eyes. Naturally, there are “no plans” for the space, so feel free to stare at the empty basin and imagine what water feels like while the temperature hits 105 degrees in June.
But wait, there’s a glimmer of hope for the year 2040! Councilwoman Christy Martinez Garcia is floating the idea of a “Quality of Life” bond. This would involve asking us—the people who watched the last pools rot—to vote for a shiny new aquatic center. It’s currently in the “exploratory phase” and won’t be in the budget anytime soon, which is government-speak for “don’t buy a swimsuit this decade.”
In the meantime, the city suggests we all flock to the three splash pads opening May 1st. Because nothing screams “vibrant metropolitan hub” quite like a thousand sweaty toddlers fighting over a single PVC pipe that shoots lukewarm water into the air. The city says they are “easier maintenance,” which is a polite way of saying they’re much harder for the Parks department to accidentally destroy through sheer neglect.
Who needs a deep end when you can just stand in a soggy park and get misted like a head of lettuce at United Supermarkets?
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