Because living in a regular house is apparently beneath the dignity of someone “leading” our beloved institution, the Texas Tech University System just dropped a few million on a new official residence. And in a move that surprises absolutely nobody who has spent more than five minutes in this dust bowl, they bought it from Lubbock’s favorite federal inmate, Bart Reagor.
While Bart is busy serving a 14-year sentence for being remarkably bad at lying to banks, Chancellor Brandon Creighton—a man who traded his state senate seat for a plush desk and a better view—will be moving into the 7,500-square-foot Tudor Revival on 19th Street. The Board of Regents is calling it a “strategic asset” and a “working resource.” In Lubbock-speak, that means it’s a fancy place to pour expensive bourbon for donors until they forget the tuition hikes and hand over their checkbooks.
The house comes with all the essentials for academic excellence: four bedrooms, a spa, a pool house, and “handmade oversized bricks” designed to create the illusion of age. How fitting for an administration that loves to wrap its latest questionable decisions in the “tradition” of the Red Raiders. The whole thing is being financed through “commercial paper,” which is just a fancy way of saying they’re putting the $2.3 million tab on a university credit card and hoping the interest doesn’t kill us before they can flip it into a bond.
Don’t worry, though! The university insists no state-appropriated funds were used. It’s all “private” money—you know, the kind of money that definitely couldn’t have been used for lower tuition, better parking, or actually paying the staff. But hey, at least the Chancellor is now right across the street from campus, making it even easier for him to oversee the slow-motion car wreck that is the TTU budget.
After all, if you’re going to run a university system like a high-stakes shell game, you might as well do it from the former headquarters of a guy who actually got caught.
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