Lubbock is entirely flat, meticulously built on a grid, and blessed with roads wider than some airport runways. Yet, asking our local residents to navigate from point A to point B without a major collision is apparently like asking them to solve advanced quantum physics. This week, our local tarmac stunt-coords proved once again that staying inside the lines is merely a polite suggestion.
First up, we have the early-bird special on the Marsha Sharp frontage road. Around 12:15 a.m., someone managed to turn the stretch near 23rd and Toledo into a personal demolition derby. The crash left one person seriously injured and rushing to the hospital. Naturally, the Lubbock Police Department is “investigating the cause” of the crash, though anyone who has ever tried to merge onto the Marsha Sharp knows the cause is almost certainly the standard Lubbock cocktail of blind optimism and a complete disregard for turn signals.
But why let the midnight oil have all the fun? Just a few hours earlier on May 19th, around 6:29 p.m., another driver decided that a straight, uncomplicated path through the 4600 block of 55th Drive was just too boring. In an impressive feat of physics that defies our completely flat topography, this driver managed a single-vehicle rollover right in the middle of the evening rush. Sadly, this piece of automotive gymnastics turned tragic, and the driver was pronounced deceased after being transported to UMC.
It is a true local marvel that you don’t even need a torrential downpour, ice, or a mountain pass to see a car completely upside down in this town. Give a Lubbock driver a perfectly dry, straight road on a sunny evening, and they will still somehow find a way to flip a multi-ton piece of machinery.
At this rate, should TXDOT just replace the actual driving test with a basic hand-eye coordination quiz, or should we just start handing out participation trophies for anyone who manages to make it to H-E-B without clearing a curb?
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