Well, it was fun while it lasted. Now that the Texas DPS “surge” has apparently packed up and headed back home—presumably because they ran out of ticket paper or realized Lubbock is beyond saving—the Hub City has wasted no time returning to its natural state: a high-stakes, low-IQ demolition derby. Without a state trooper on every corner to remind us that cars are for sitting inside, Lubbockites spent the weekend treating the laws of physics like mere suggestions.
First up, we have the latest entry in the “Pickup Trucks are Jungle Gyms” category. A 15-year-old decided the best way to enjoy a Saturday afternoon was by clinging to the running board of a moving pickup near 52nd and Avenue W. Predictably, gravity won. The teen fell off and was promptly run over by the very same truck he was hitching a ride on. He didn’t make it. It’s a tragic story, sure, but also a stark reminder that if you treat a 5,000-pound machine like a moving sidewalk at the airport, the machine is going to win every single time.
Not to be outdone in the “falling out of things” department, we also got the grim update on an 18-year-old who managed to fall out of a golf cart in central Lubbock last week. Apparently, taking a turn at 2nd and Avenue K was too much G-force for the passenger, who fell out and eventually succumbed to his injuries. Only in Lubbock do we treat residential streets like the back nine of a country club, right up until the moment someone dies from a vehicle that tops out at 15 miles per hour.
And because a Lubbock weekend isn’t complete without some chrome hitting the asphalt, we had a double-header of motorcycle crashes. One pair of riders took a spill near North Memphis and Erskine and escaped with minor injuries, likely because they hadn’t used up all their luck yet. Meanwhile, over at 130th and Milwaukee—the intersection that exists solely to keep UMC’s trauma ward in business—another motorcycle crash left someone with serious injuries Monday morning.
Since we’ve collectively decided that seatbelts are “woke” and the exterior of a truck is a perfectly valid seating arrangement, should we just start handing out participation trophies at the morgue?
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