Over on East Auburn Street, 65-year-old Robert Kinney gave us all a masterclass in West Texas conflict resolution after getting woken up in the middle of the night by cars bringing his son home. Naturally, instead of taking a deep breath or rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, Kinney grabbed his handgun, stepped outside, and fired a classic “warning shot” directly into the air to let the neighborhood know he meant business. When he went to check a car along the curb, he claims 37-year-old Stephon Jones struck him in the face, causing Kinney’s gun to conveniently “go off” and fatally shoot Jones. Kinney then told his wife to call the cops, waited patiently in his driveway, and earned himself a ticket straight to the Lubbock Detention Center on a $250,000 bond.
Meanwhile, over in central Lubbock on the 5000 block of 38th Street, 61-year-old Richard Paul was shot and killed late Wednesday, July 16th. Lubbock police responded around 11 p.m., found Paul dead at the scene, and handed the case over to the Lubbock Metropolitan Special Crimes Unit. Naturally, no arrests have been made, but officers were quick to issue their favorite magical tagline: there is totally “no threat to the public”. Because nothing says “you’re completely safe” quite like an unidentified killer roaming the city while Crime Line scrambles to offer up to $5,000 for basic information.
Between firing warning shots into the night sky like a cartoon cowboy and guns mysteriously discharging themselves during fistfights, Lubbock continues to prove that every local disagreement is just one impulse away from becoming an active crime scene. But hey, at least when there’s a shooter loose in central Lubbock, the police department is right there to tell us to relax, lock our doors, and enjoy the local atmosphere.
Isn’t it comforting to know that whether guns are firing themselves or killers are slipping into the night, Lubbock’s official safety guarantee remains “don’t worry, everything is totally under control”?
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