Big news, tech bros! We are officially a “tier-two or tier-three” underserved community, which means Florida-based Duos Edge AI just graced central Lubbock with a “million-dollar” decentralized computing center near 19th and Avenue Q. Finally, our flat landscape can process artificial intelligence right down the street from where you get your transmission flushed. The company’s VP of Technology, Bill Radford, bragged that Lubbock expressed the most interest of any city in Texas—which is local government code for “our leaders will slap a ribbon-cutting ceremony on literally anything with the word ‘AI’ on it.”
To keep the locals from panicking about the machines taking over, Radford assured everyone that this high-tech pod is totally “community friendly.” It doesn’t use a drop of water, and its maximum capacity draws the exact same amount of power as your local McDonald’s. Because nothing screams cutting-edge global innovation quite like the energy consumption of a dual-lane drive-thru cranking out Quarter Pounders. Even better, it’s hooked up to our notoriously rock-solid, totally dependable ERCOT grid. But don’t sweat it, they brought backup generators for when the state grid inevitably collapses because a strong breeze hit a wind turbine in Sweetwater.
Inside the building, they’ve got a grand total of 15 cabinets for rent where local entities can plug in their own equipment. But it wouldn’t be a classic Hub City rollout without a healthy dose of administrative hallucination. Duos Edge proudly told local media that they leased the land for this high-tech endeavor directly from Lubbock ISD. Naturally, when reporters asked Lubbock ISD for confirmation, the school district flatly denied it, stating they aren’t a customer, have no plans to be a customer, and are absolutely not leasing any land to the company. So, either we have a high-tech data center operating out of a lawless bureaucratic black hole, or the AI has already achieved sentience and is squatting on school property.
But hey, at least Radford promises those heavy-duty air conditioners will pull humidity out of the parched West Texas dirt to “generate water right out of thin air.” If we can’t figure out who actually owns the land the building is currently sitting on, at least we can look forward to solving the regional drought crisis with the air conditioning runoff from fifteen server racks, right?
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