Lubbock cops shut down Jake’s Sports Café mid–Chippendales revue after dancers dared to—brace yourselves—move in ways meant to arouse the crowd. Eight half-naked performers, plus their manager, promoter, and a Jake’s staffer, were handcuffed and hauled to jail less than 45 minutes into the show. Nearly 400 people had paid good money for a night of Vegas-style fun, only to watch it end with the lights on and the cops taking a victory lap.
According to police, the crime wasn’t the dancing itself but the lack of a “sexually oriented business” permit. Translation: simulated sex acts are fine in Lubbock—as long as the city gets its cut of the action. Lt. Gregory Stevens said if Jake’s had just filed the right paperwork, none of this would’ve been a problem. Because nothing says “family values” like a bureaucratic stamp of approval.
Audience members weren’t impressed with the sting. One woman pointed out the obvious: you can get groped for free in any Lubbock bar, but pay $20 to watch professionals and suddenly it’s a criminal offense. Jake’s promised refunds for the canceled shows, which were nearly sold out.
Only in Lubbock do we shut down Chippendales for simulated sex acts while pretending the Depot District on a Saturday night isn’t basically the same thing—just with worse lighting and no cover charge.
