Well, “The King” has finally abdicated his throne at Jones AT&T Stadium, leaving behind nothing but empty beer cans, lingering clouds of cologne, and a Texas Tech administration that is absolutely giddy over how much money they just squeezed out of the South Plains. President Lawrence Schovanec took a victory lap this week, noting that 133,065 fans piled into the stadium over two nights—mostly because there is literally nothing else to do within a 300-mile radius.
Schovanec was quick to point out that the concert provided much-needed “cultural enrichment” for our dusty little corner of the world. Apparently, in Lubbock, “culture” is defined as 60,000 people in starched jeans screaming about tequila while the Athletics Department figures out how to pay for Kirby Hocutt’s new revenue-sharing model. If you’re wondering where your $400 ticket price went, it’s going straight into the pockets of the football program so we can continue to mid-tier our way through the Big 12.
The President also took a moment to pat the university on the back for its “level of sophistication” in pulling off the event. It’s truly a marvel of modern engineering that we managed to host a concert in a stadium specifically designed to hold people. While they “heard out” complaints about the inevitable parking apocalypse and logistical nightmares, Schovanec seemed more impressed that George Strait looked “invigorated.” We’d be invigorated too if we were getting paid that much to visit Lubbock for 48 hours.
How many more legends do we have to host before the university admits this “cultural enrichment” is just a high-stakes bake sale for the NIL fund?
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