Welcome back to another episode of “Why We Can’t Have Nice Things in the 806.” Today’s contestant for Mother of the Year is 22-year-old Cysili Quintanilla, who decided that a night out at Santiago’s wasn’t complete without a high-stakes demolition derby and a light dusting of gunfire.
According to court docs, the festivities kicked off in October 2025 after Cysili’s “significant other” allegedly started flirting with another woman. Naturally, instead of doing the adult thing—like leaving or sending a passive-aggressive text—Cysili opted for the West Texas Special. She allegedly followed the victim to a gas station, rammed her car into the back of the victim’s vehicle, and then opened fire with a handgun. Because nothing says “I love you” like vehicular assault and a felony charge.
The “logic” didn’t stop there. Cysili then sped off toward North Ulrich Avenue, where she promptly wrecked her own car. Inside the vehicle? A passenger and—get this—a literal baby. The crash was so impactful that Cysili managed to knock herself unconscious, which is probably the most helpful thing she did all night.
While Cysili was busy taking an involuntary nap in the driver’s seat, her passenger decided to keep the vibe alive by hopping out and getting into a physical fight with the victim. You really have to admire the commitment to the bit; even with the driver out cold and a child in the wreckage, the Lubbock spirit of “catching these hands” remains undefeated.
Now, six months after her grand performance, Cysili is sitting in the Lubbock County Detention Center on a $25,000 bond. She’s facing charges for child endangerment, two counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, and a DWI with a child.
Who knew that mixing Santiago’s, domestic jealousy, and a firearm could result in anything other than a peaceful trip home?
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