In today’s episode of Lubbock’s Brightest Stars, 31-year-old Christopher Roy Prieto has been handed a two-year vacation in federal prison. Why? Because he decided that standard semi-automatic handguns were just too “low-energy” for the 806 and decided to spice them up with some illegal machine gun conversion switches. How did the feds catch this local [...]Read More... from Lubbock Man Learns the Hard Way That “Expired Tags” Are the Gateway Drug to Federal Prison
While the rest of us are struggling to find a decent job in this town that doesn’t involve wearing a name tag or begging for tenure at Tech, Jeremiah “Chris” Arguijo was out here living the American Dream. According to federal prosecutors, Chris wasn’t just “dabbling” in the local economy; he was moving a staggering [...]Read More... from Lubbock’s Most Productive Small Business Owner Just Got a 30-Year Sabbatical
In a shocking turn of events that surprised absolutely no one who has ever read a police blotter in this town, 50-year-old Jody Jeffcoat pleaded guilty Friday morning to three counts of possession of child pornography. Because apparently, in the year 2026, people still think the “it wasn’t me, wait, actually it was me” strategy [...]Read More... from Lubbock’s Latest Tech Expert Sentenced to 25 Years for the “I Didn’t Do It, Okay I Did It” Defense
We’ve always known that Lubbock has a world-class reputation for “good ol’ boy” networking. Whether it’s a City Council member voting on a contract that just happens to benefit their family’s portfolio or a developer getting a “random” zoning break, we’ve mastered the art of the wink-and-nod. Take former Mayor Dan Pope, who famously had [...]Read More... from The “Lubbock Special” Goes National: Billionaire Advisor Proves You Don’t Need a 806 Area Code to Master the Art of Self-Dealing
Lubbock’s favorite higher-ed circus, the Texas Tech University System, just held its big Board of Regents meeting in Dallas—conveniently 350 miles away from the students and faculty actually dealing with the fallout of Chancellor Brandon Creighton’s “war on feelings”. While everyone expected the board to finally clarify which books haven’t been banned yet, the regents [...]Read More... from Tech Regents Spend Five Hours Playing ‘I Spy’ With Real Estate Instead of Doing Their Jobs
Listen, I know we usually spend our time complaining about the soul-crushing dust storms and the fact that Lubbock’s only cultural landmark is a Buddy Holly statue that looks like it’s perpetually judging your life choices. But let’s take a look at our neighbors in El Paso, where the federal government has spent $1.2 billion [...]Read More... from El Paso’s $1.2 Billion Death Trap is the New ‘Gold Standard’ for Texas Hospitality
In today’s episode of Lubbock’s Brightest Stars, 31-year-old Christopher Roy Prieto has been handed a two-year vacation in federal prison. Why? Because he decided that standard semi-automatic handguns were just too “low-energy” for the 806 and decided to spice them up with some illegal machine gun conversion switches. How did the feds catch this local [...]Read More... from Lubbock Man Learns the Hard Way That “Expired Tags” Are the Gateway Drug to Federal Prison
Because nothing says “healthy co-parenting” like a cocked pistol on University Avenue, 25-year-old Kaitlin Garcia has officially been indicted for Aggravated Assault with a Deadly Weapon. Apparently, a December child exchange in the 7300 block turned into a deleted scene from Sicario, proving once again that in Lubbock, “family time” is just another word for [...]Read More... from University Avenue: Where “Child Exchange” is Just a Suggestion for a Felony
Ah, Lubbock. The “Hub City.” The place where the wind blows 60 mph, the dirt is a permanent seasoning on your steak, and apparently, the local youth are treating their handguns like a DIY project from a very dark corner of Pinterest. Meet Adrian James Washington, III—a 20-year-old who clearly felt a standard .40 caliber [...]Read More... from Lubbock: Where Your Glock Can Be Anything If You Believe (And Have a Federal Indictment)
According to local rock station FMX, Lubbock has spent the last few months auditioning for the lead role in a low-budget horror flick. Thousands of geese have been dropping dead across the Hub City, creating a scenic landscape of rotting feathers and “uncomfortable conversations.” While city crews have been busy playing a high-stakes game of [...]Read More... from The “Zombie Movie” Prequel Nobody Asked For: Lubbock’s Floating Goose Buffet
Good news, everyone! Lubbock’s Public Health department officially has “no concern” about community spread following a confirmed case of the measles. Apparently, we’ve reached a level of local zen where a highly contagious, once-eradicated virus is just another Tuesday in the Hub City. The lucky winner of this year’s first “Traveler’s Toxin” award was an [...]Read More... from Lubbock Public Health to City: “Don’t Worry, It’s Just a Little Measles”
In a stunning turn of events that surely shocked exactly zero people who have ever stepped foot outside in the 806, a local doctor is officially advising Lubbockites that breathing in a face-full of dirt is—get this—suboptimal for your health. After the most recent haboob turned our afternoon sky into a scene from Interstellar, Dr. [...]Read More... from Groundbreaking Discovery: Dust is Bad for You, Actually
Hold onto your hats, Lubbock. Our very own Chancellor Brandon Creighton—the man who spent his legislative career heroically “saving” us from the existential threat of DEI—has found a new shiny object to distract us from the fact that we still can’t figure out how to pave 34th Street. He’s dropping $25 million of Texas Tech’s [...]Read More... from Tech Swaps “Woke” for Robots: Chancellor Creighton Spends $25M to Turn Lubbock into an “AI Factory”
In a shocking display of common sense that must have left local pearl-clutchers gasping for air, the Lubbock ISD Board of Trustees voted unanimously against designating a specific “prayer period” during the school day. While new state legislation essentially gave them a hall pass to turn the lunch hour into a revival tent, the board [...]Read More... from Lubbock ISD Refuses to Make Prayer Mandatory
Lubbock’s favorite higher-ed circus, the Texas Tech University System, just held its big Board of Regents meeting in Dallas—conveniently 350 miles away from the students and faculty actually dealing with the fallout of Chancellor Brandon Creighton’s “war on feelings”. While everyone expected the board to finally clarify which books haven’t been banned yet, the regents [...]Read More... from Tech Regents Spend Five Hours Playing ‘I Spy’ With Real Estate Instead of Doing Their Jobs
Wes over at FMX finally hit the nail on the head: Downtown Lubbock is the “fetch” of West Texas urban planning. It’s never going to happen, but the city won’t stop trying to make it happen. We’ve been hearing the word “revitalization” since 1997—back when Titanic was in theaters and people still thought the Macarena [...]Read More... from Happy 30th Anniversary to Downtown Lubbock’s “Coming Soon” Sign
We’ve always known that Lubbock has a world-class reputation for “good ol’ boy” networking. Whether it’s a City Council member voting on a contract that just happens to benefit their family’s portfolio or a developer getting a “random” zoning break, we’ve mastered the art of the wink-and-nod. Take former Mayor Dan Pope, who famously had [...]Read More... from The “Lubbock Special” Goes National: Billionaire Advisor Proves You Don’t Need a 806 Area Code to Master the Art of Self-Dealing
If you have ever driven down Slide Road at 5:15 PM, dodging a lifted Ford F-250 that is currently occupying two lanes while emitting a cloud of unburnt diesel particulate that would make a Victorian chimney sweep cough, you have experienced the essence of Lubbock, Texas. We like to pretend we are a “metropolitan” area. [...]Read More... from The Brick Trailer Park: An Autopsy of the Hub City’s Soul
Wes over at FMX finally hit the nail on the head: Downtown Lubbock is the “fetch” of West Texas urban planning. It’s never going to happen, but the city won’t stop trying to make it happen. We’ve been hearing the word “revitalization” since 1997—back when Titanic was in theaters and people still thought the Macarena [...]Read More... from Happy 30th Anniversary to Downtown Lubbock’s “Coming Soon” Sign
Hold onto your hats, Lubbock. Our very own Chancellor Brandon Creighton—the man who spent his legislative career heroically “saving” us from the existential threat of DEI—has found a new shiny object to distract us from the fact that we still can’t figure out how to pave 34th Street. He’s dropping $25 million of Texas Tech’s [...]Read More... from Tech Swaps “Woke” for Robots: Chancellor Creighton Spends $25M to Turn Lubbock into an “AI Factory”
In a move that surprised absolutely no one who has ever seen a Lubbock utility bill, Buffalo Springs Lake is hiking gate prices from $12 to a cool $20 per person. General Manager Greg Thornton is defending the jump, explaining that it turns out running a desert oasis—complete with employees, equipment, and a police department [...]Read More... from Pay More to Touch the Brown Water: Buffalo Springs Lake Discovers the Magic of Basic Math
Welcome back to another edition of Lubbock Sucks, the only place that tracks our city’s transition from “Hub City” to “High-Speed Collision Capital of the South Plains.” This past weekend, Lubbock drivers decided that staying between the lines was far too mainstream, opting instead for a city-wide game of bumper cars with actual human lives. [...]Read More... from Lubbock’s Weekend Demolition Derby: Because Who Needs Stop Signs or Physics Anyway?
Listen, I know we usually spend our time complaining about the soul-crushing dust storms and the fact that Lubbock’s only cultural landmark is a Buddy Holly statue that looks like it’s perpetually judging your life choices. But let’s take a look at our neighbors in El Paso, where the federal government has spent $1.2 billion [...]Read More... from El Paso’s $1.2 Billion Death Trap is the New ‘Gold Standard’ for Texas Hospitality
Happy Friday, Lubbock! While you were likely daydreaming about which Mexican food establishment would host your inevitable sodium overdose this evening, Lubbock High School decided to pivot into a high-stakes action movie—minus the budget or a coherent plot. An “unknown subject” (local speak for “someone who didn’t study for their Physics mid-term”) called the police [...]Read More... from The LISD Friday Special: Bomb Threats, Ghost Gunmen, and the 2,000-Student Parking Lot Party