Crime
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LPD Solves Crime Forever (Just in Time for the State Troopers to Take the Credit)
According to the Lubbock Police Department’s 2025 annual report, our fair city is officially becoming a utopia. Chief Seth Herman announced that “Part 1” crimes—the fun ones like murder, robbery, and motor vehicle theft—have dropped by 12%. Apparently, the force has been “beating the bushes” looking for bad guys, which is a lovely, rustic image [...]Read More... from LPD Solves Crime Forever (Just in Time for the State Troopers to Take the Credit)
Hub City’s Newest Celebrity: Man Faces 20 Years for the Ultimate GTA Lubbock Speedrun
Keith Kalka, a 59-year-old who is currently sporting the most enthusiastic mugshot in the history of the Lubbock County Jail, finally pleaded guilty this week for his January 2024 performance art piece. In a move that truly captures the intellectual spirit of the South Plains, Keith decided the best way to achieve “fame” was to [...]Read More... from Hub City’s Newest Celebrity: Man Faces 20 Years for the Ultimate GTA Lubbock Speedrun
Local “Hero” Mistakes Tinseltown Restroom for a Discovery Channel Special
Ah, Tinseltown. A place where the floors are permanently adhesive, the popcorn costs more than a mid-sized sedan, and apparently, according to Bradley Scott Cotnoir, the men’s restroom is the perfect place for a bit of non-consensual “curiosity.” Because nothing complements a $15 matinee like a 34-year-old man lurking in the stalls. Back in December [...]Read More... from Local “Hero” Mistakes Tinseltown Restroom for a Discovery Channel Special
Politics
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The “Big Beautiful Map” is Here to Stay, Because Who Needs Competitive Elections Anyway?
Well, color me shocked. The U.S. Supreme Court just officially cleared Texas’ newly redrawn congressional map for the 2026 midterms and beyond. After a brief moment of hope where a lower court suggested that maybe, just maybe, drawing lines specifically to sideline minority voters was a bit “discriminatory,” the high court stepped in to remind [...]Read More... from The “Big Beautiful Map” is Here to Stay, Because Who Needs Competitive Elections Anyway?
Texas GOP Discovers “Actions Have Consequences,” Promptly Melts Down
In a move that surprised absolutely no one who has ever played a game of “fuck around and find out,” Texas Republicans are currently reeling after their brilliant plan to rig the federal map mid-decade blew up in their faces. Last summer, our state’s leadership decided to do Donald Trump a solid by redrawing congressional [...]Read More... from Texas GOP Discovers “Actions Have Consequences,” Promptly Melts Down
Ken Paxton Attacks the Real Enemy of Democracy: Your Unused Visa Gift Cards
Our favorite legal eagle and part-time hobbyist Attorney General, Ken Paxton, is back at it again. This time, he’s filed a lawsuit against ActBlue, the fundraising powerhouse for Democrats, because apparently, the biggest threat to the Lone Star State isn’t the crumbling infrastructure or the fact that it’s 105 degrees in April—it’s people donating to [...]Read More... from Ken Paxton Attacks the Real Enemy of Democracy: Your Unused Visa Gift Cards
Guns
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Lubbock Hospitality: Where We Feed Your Dog Treats and Then Shoot It
Welcome to Bell Farms, the South Lubbock suburban dream where the HOA fees are high and the trigger fingers are apparently even higher. In the latest installment of “Why We Can’t Have Nice Things,” a black German Shepherd named Oakley decided to take an unauthorized tour of the 2400 block of 144th Street. Because this [...]Read More... from Lubbock Hospitality: Where We Feed Your Dog Treats and Then Shoot It
The “Executive” Lifestyle: Avenue Q’s Finest Hospitality Ends in SWAT Semi-Finals
Lubbock’s Avenue Q remains the undisputed champion of “exactly what you expected to happen.” On Wednesday night, the Texas DPS and a SWAT team decided to check in at the Executive Inn—a name that, much like “Lubbock is a vacation destination,” is doing a lot of heavy lifting. It turns out the “executives” in question [...]Read More... from The “Executive” Lifestyle: Avenue Q’s Finest Hospitality Ends in SWAT Semi-Finals
Lubbock Love Language: Ramming, Shooting, and a Mid-Crime Power Nap
Welcome back to another episode of “Why We Can’t Have Nice Things in the 806.” Today’s contestant for Mother of the Year is 22-year-old Cysili Quintanilla, who decided that a night out at Santiago’s wasn’t complete without a high-stakes demolition derby and a light dusting of gunfire. According to court docs, the festivities kicked off [...]Read More... from Lubbock Love Language: Ramming, Shooting, and a Mid-Crime Power Nap
Public Health
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Texas Medical Board Decides ‘Death’ is Just a Teachable Moment (With a Very Short Quiz)
Welcome to Texas, the only state where “standard of care” has been replaced by “consulting a lawyer while the patient bleeds out.” The Texas Medical Board has finally broken its silence on the deaths of Nevaeh Crain and Porsha Ngumezi, and their solution is exactly what you’d expect from a state that considers a 99-year [...]Read More... from Texas Medical Board Decides ‘Death’ is Just a Teachable Moment (With a Very Short Quiz)
Shallowater: Come for the Small-Town Charm, Stay for the Radioactive Kidney Failure
Our neighbors in Shallowater just got some glowing news from the Texas Commission on Environmental Quality. It turns out the local tap water has officially surpassed the EPA’s “try not to grow a third arm” limit for combined uranium. While the feds suggest 30 micrograms per liter is the maximum acceptable amount for human survival, [...]Read More... from Shallowater: Come for the Small-Town Charm, Stay for the Radioactive Kidney Failure
East Lubbock Hospitality: Now Featuring Free Dental Exams (From Stray Dogs)
Nothing says “Good morning, Hub City” quite like an 8:00 AM cardio session involving a pack of aggressive dogs. On Thursday morning, an elderly woman in the 2400 block of East 8th Street found out the hard way that in Lubbock, the sidewalks aren’t just for walking—they’re a buffet line for neighborhood hounds whose owners [...]Read More... from East Lubbock Hospitality: Now Featuring Free Dental Exams (From Stray Dogs)
Education
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Raider Power? More Like Raider-Hush: Texas Tech Rebrands as a Very Expensive Trade School
In a move that surprised absolutely no one who has spent more than five minutes in West Texas, the Texas Tech Board of Regents has decided that the “university” part of Texas Tech University was getting a little too trendy. Following the lead of Chancellor Brandon Creighton—the man who literally wrote the state law he’s [...]Read More... from Raider Power? More Like Raider-Hush: Texas Tech Rebrands as a Very Expensive Trade School
From Ponzi to Ph.D.: Texas Tech Buys Convicted Fraudster’s Mansion for Chancellor
Because living in a regular house is apparently beneath the dignity of someone “leading” our beloved institution, the Texas Tech University System just dropped a few million on a new official residence. And in a move that surprises absolutely nobody who has spent more than five minutes in this dust bowl, they bought it from [...]Read More... from From Ponzi to Ph.D.: Texas Tech Buys Convicted Fraudster’s Mansion for Chancellor
Texas Discovers the Secret to Better Education: Giving Your Tax Dollars to Private Schools
The Texas Comptroller just started mailing out the educational equivalent of Willy Wonka’s Golden Tickets, and Governor Abbott is already taking a victory lap like he just solved literacy. Around 42,600 kids in the “first priority tier” are being awarded Texas Education Freedom Accounts, which is a fancy, focus-grouped way of saying the state is [...]Read More... from Texas Discovers the Secret to Better Education: Giving Your Tax Dollars to Private Schools
Local Government
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Lubbock Early Voting Hits 10-Year Low: Local Democracy Officially Less Popular Than a Dust Storm
Lubbock County just recorded its lowest early voting turnout for a May election since 2014. Over the course of eight grueling days, a whopping 7,800 people managed to drag themselves to the polls. To put that in perspective, we probably have more people waiting in the drive-thru at Chick-fil-A on a Tuesday morning than we [...]Read More... from Lubbock Early Voting Hits 10-Year Low: Local Democracy Officially Less Popular Than a Dust Storm
City Hall Learns to Read: Gary Boren Sues His Way Onto the Ballot
Lubbock is currently embroiled in its favorite pastime: a legal slap-fight over things that should be simple. Gary Boren wanted to run for the District 4 seat, but City Hall tried to kick him to the curb because he’s only lived in the district for two months. Apparently, the City Secretary thinks you need to [...]Read More... from City Hall Learns to Read: Gary Boren Sues His Way Onto the Ballot
Ernest Butler Park: Lubbock’s Premier Destination for Tetanus and Loneliness
If you’ve ever wanted your child to experience the existential dread of being the only kid with a swing in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, head over to Ernest Butler Park on the East Side. It’s a local landmark, mostly because it currently looks like the set of a low-budget movie about a society that forgot how [...]Read More... from Ernest Butler Park: Lubbock’s Premier Destination for Tetanus and Loneliness
Economics
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Breaking: Lubbock Residents Shocked to Find Out Big Trucks Require Actual Money to Move
In a turn of events that surprised absolutely no one with a basic grasp of geopolitics, gas prices in Texas have skyrocketed to a delightful $3.78 a gallon. Apparently, when you close the Strait of Hormuz during a war, the magic juice that makes your oversized dually go “vroom” gets a bit pricier. While the [...]Read More... from Breaking: Lubbock Residents Shocked to Find Out Big Trucks Require Actual Money to Move
The Great Texas Thirst: Corpus is Out of Water, and Lubbock is Just One Dust Storm Away from Joining Them
While we’re all busy complaining about the latest pothole on Slide Road, our neighbors down in the Coastal Bend are currently starring in their own real-life reboot of Mad Max. At least six small towns around Corpus Christi have officially declared disaster status because their reservoirs are hitting a pathetic 8% capacity. Corpus Christi, the [...]Read More... from The Great Texas Thirst: Corpus is Out of Water, and Lubbock is Just One Dust Storm Away from Joining Them
Raider Power? More Like Raider-Hush: Texas Tech Rebrands as a Very Expensive Trade School
In a move that surprised absolutely no one who has spent more than five minutes in West Texas, the Texas Tech Board of Regents has decided that the “university” part of Texas Tech University was getting a little too trendy. Following the lead of Chancellor Brandon Creighton—the man who literally wrote the state law he’s [...]Read More... from Raider Power? More Like Raider-Hush: Texas Tech Rebrands as a Very Expensive Trade School
Police
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LPD Officially Joins the Border Patrol (Despite Being a Six-Hour Drive from the Border)
SB4 is back from its brief legal nap, and our favorite local lawmakers—State Rep. Carl Tepper and State Senator Charles Perry—couldn’t be happier. The law finally gives Lubbock police the power to arrest people for “illegal entry.” Because if there’s one thing we’re known for here in the Hub City, it’s our bustling international coastline [...]Read More... from LPD Officially Joins the Border Patrol (Despite Being a Six-Hour Drive from the Border)
LPD Solves Crime Forever (Just in Time for the State Troopers to Take the Credit)
According to the Lubbock Police Department’s 2025 annual report, our fair city is officially becoming a utopia. Chief Seth Herman announced that “Part 1” crimes—the fun ones like murder, robbery, and motor vehicle theft—have dropped by 12%. Apparently, the force has been “beating the bushes” looking for bad guys, which is a lovely, rustic image [...]Read More... from LPD Solves Crime Forever (Just in Time for the State Troopers to Take the Credit)
Hub City’s Newest Celebrity: Man Faces 20 Years for the Ultimate GTA Lubbock Speedrun
Keith Kalka, a 59-year-old who is currently sporting the most enthusiastic mugshot in the history of the Lubbock County Jail, finally pleaded guilty this week for his January 2024 performance art piece. In a move that truly captures the intellectual spirit of the South Plains, Keith decided the best way to achieve “fame” was to [...]Read More... from Hub City’s Newest Celebrity: Man Faces 20 Years for the Ultimate GTA Lubbock Speedrun